This is a special interview for me because Alena Downs is not only my teacher, but seeing her videos on Youtube was one of the main inspirations that got me into pole dancing.
I can’t rave about Alena enough - if you don’t already know about PoleJunkies, you should - great forum, great classes, great teacher!
How did you get started pole dancing?
I was an exotic feature entertainer, I retired to share my passion!
How did you make the leap to opening your own studio? What was that like?
I started doing private classes and live onlines, but with the increasing schedule, I needed group classes. The leap to my own studio was a challenge with the current stereotype that follows the pole industry. It was wonderful to introduce something to the public I so enjoy!
What is the first thing you teach new pole dance students?
How to stand up straight and be proud of yourself….and what you are about to learn!
Poise & positioning for body safety.
How do you take care of yourself, given all the classes you teach and all the performances you give?
I am probably the WORST person to ask this…..
But I do take daily vitamins, glucosamine for the joints….and ibuprofen for the pain!
What made you start the PoleJunkies forum?
With poledancing becoming more popular in North America daily, I wanted to create a warm, welcoming environment for ALL poledancers to come together as a community to promote pole dance in a positive manner. A place where polers…male, female, amateur, professional, exotic or fitness….could come to read, learn, inquire, boast, partake in events, find schools & competitions…anywhere in the world! Although PoleJunkies is Canadian based…I always wished for unity, and welcome everyone…globally!
Watch this video of Alena. It is the first one I found of her - and is still on of my absolute favorites!
Favorite makeup tip:
I love the smoky cat eyes…but with color. Enhance the defined lines with a line of color on top. Creates a wardrobe match effect!
Barefoot, sneakers, or platform heels?
Barefoot on class poles!
Sneakers on outside poles!
Old School Stilettos on the club poles!
No platforms for this girl!
Favorite grip enhancer:
I do not use any….but do allow shave gel for students in class! You have to learn to adapt and increase grip strength, and grip aids hinder that.
Pole dance move that made you proudest to learn:
Jade…aka Inverted Splits
You should also check out this performance by Alena - just an amazing mix of pole athleticism and fantastic dancing!
Pole dance pet peeves:
I have two …
1. Body Rolls are not “crotch into pole” moves.
2. Doing a move once is not mastering it!
Favorite treatment for bruises and sore muscles:
a glass of White Zinfindel. Seriously now … arnica gel, biofreeze, & ibuprofen.
Who would you most like to have in the audience when you pole dance?
My mom. She is a wonderful supporter of what I do … even though she has never seen me pole dance!
Who is your hero or role model?
My hero … one of my first private students…who I still see occasionally … Sheri. An incredible soul that taught me to NEVER give up something you love, and that ANYTHING is possible … if you set your mind to it! A stroke left her with no use of her fingers on her left hand. In two years, she had overcome her challenge and learned the basic single arm swings, transitions … as well as how to step up on the pole to sit! She challenged me to adapt my instruction to include physically challenged women!
Thanks, Sheri, for all your determination … it has totally fueled mine!
What are your favorite words of encouragement?
With baby steps anything is possible … including pole moves!
Favorite pizza toppings:
Beef & mushroom.
Cupcakes or ice cream?
Ice Cream … Double Chocolate Chunk!
Anything else you’d like to share:
For Fitness or For Fun, Find the Junkie Inside!
If you are lucky enough to live in Calgary or Edmonton, you can take classes in-person with Alena. You can call her here: 403-829-6844 in Calgary or 780-991-1466 in Edmonton.
But if, like me, you do not live anywhere near there, you can STILL take classes - live, online - with Alena. Contact her to get the details! Or go to PoleJunkies.com - it’s been the best decision I’ve ever made for my pole dancing!
It’s a little-known fact that I choreograph when I drive. Not like I’m Bob Fosse or anything, but it’s something I do. For a long time, I imagined mostly belly dance choreographies, but it can also be your basic sexy rock video-type dancing. When I’m in the zone, floating down the highway, my head is full of dance.
Pole dance visions
Getting my head to play with pole in these fantasies took awhile. It was like my inner self hadn’t quite caught up with what was going on yet. And more than that, I simply didn’t know any pole moves well enough to imagine fitting them together.
Then, a few months ago, that all changed. Now all I see when driving is pole (yes, I still manage to watch the road). It’s fantastic! And it keeps me in that excited-to-go-dance feeling, which is so vital.
But what’s even better is, at long last, I have gotten to the point where I can make a start at dancing the way I see it in my head.
The dream and the reality
I love the way belly dance and pole combine together, the way veil and hip movements can work so well with pole. I have visions of beautiful spins, with a veil streaming behind me.
Of course, the first time I tried to bring this vision into reality, I found that veils and poles are … tricky. I also found that I wasn’t strong enough for one-armed spins, which was a problem. Let’s face it, spinning on the pole with a newbie’s death grip does not give you a lot of options for gracefully floating with a veil.
So, I worked on my strength and my spins. I pushed myself … and learned I don’t do well with that. I stopped the pushing and tried, instead, to let myself naturally dance and see what would happen. I paced myself and built strength in my arms.
Progress, at last
Then, this weekend, it finally started coming together! Not anywhere close to my vision - yet - but at least it’s on track. For me, I find I do best when I let myself dance and not worry about which pole move I’m going to do, or even if I’m going to do any. I know that, as the advanced spins and combos and inverts become more comfortable to me, I’ll start including them in my dancing automatically.
So, for now, I do minimal spins, but have a lot of fun, and am learning how to combine the different dance styles I love, and the prop I’ve been imagining.
Here’s where I am so far with my vision. It’s heavy on dance and attitude and fun, less heavy on pole - which, I find, matches my sense of my personal style.
Your pole dance dream
I thought it would be great to see what other people’s pole dance dreams are. What are the different things we imagine for ourselves when it comes to pole - how do we want to move, what do we consider to be our personal style?
Share your vision
So, tell us a little about your pole dance dreams! Even write them in the comments below, if you’re so inclined.
How did you get started taking pole dancing lessons?
I met with a friend of mine, Trish, for lunch to discuss our latest class/certification test. She told me she was going to check out an Open House at O.C. Pole Fitness. I was so excited. I have been in dance and fitness all my life and had been wanting to try pole since I heard about it. We went to the Open House together and I immediately connected. I signed up for my first 6-week package that night. That was over two years ago. Now, I am addicted!! LOL
How did you make the leap to opening your own studio and offering pole dancing classes?
I have actually been in business for myself for the last seven years. I have been working as in independent contractor out of various gyms/studios. I started as a personal trainer. I realized there had to be a better way and one that was more fun than strictly training people on machines. I was looking for a way to take the word “boring” out of exercise and replace it with words like “challenging” and “fun.” This is when I found C.H.E.K. Institute. Shortly after, I found pole dancing/pilates. The combination of the two — wow! What a workout! My clients love it. I immersed myself in class after class and certification after certification. It was a natural move from training out of other gyms and studios to opening up my own.
What was that like?
A dream come true. I feel very lucky to be able to teach what I love doing.
What is the first thing you teach students just starting to take pole dancing classes?
Most importantly, I want them to feel comfortable on the pole. If they are nervous, I try to get them to relax, laugh, and have fun. I always start with the basics, the fundamentals - the walk, the pirouette, the sweep. If they are feeling good about it, I try the fireman spin. However, I assess and teach each client individually depending on their strengths and weaknesses. Once I assess and determine where each clients weaknesses are (strength and/or flexability), I work with them to build on the/those area(s). This is where I zoom in on my C.H.E.K. training. At the beginning and end of each class I teach individualized stretching and strength training.
How do you take care of yourself, given all the pole dancing classes you teach?
I am very holistic. I eat organic, grass-fed meats and organic fruits and vegetables. I also love Qi Gong (very relaxing) and long leisurely walks/hikes with my dog. There is nothing better then getting back to nature for relaxation. I can not remember the last time I was sick. I also teach some of this to any of my clients who are interested. Sometimes, I will do a Qi Gong stretch/cool down. Most of my clients love it.
Favorite makeup tip:
I very rarely wear makeup. I don’t like the feel of it.
Barefoot, sneakers, or platform heels?
All. Depends on what I, or the class, is working on. Free dance, I always give my clients the choice. Most wear platform heels — it sets the mood! However, if I, or the class, are working on learning how to climb or inversions, I prefer barefoot or jazz/tennis shoes to help build strength.
Favorite grip enhancer:
I have tried various grip enhancers. Lately, I have been using Dry Hands or a “gymnastics chalk bag.” A lot of my clients actually prefer the “chalk.”
Pole dance move that made you proudest to learn:
I would have to say the Reverse Aysha. I don’t know why, put I had a hard time getting it.
Pole dance pet peeves:
The only pet peeve I really have is people who scoff at it without realizing just how much strength it really takes to pull off some of the tricks.
Pole is very athletic. Until you try it … well???
Favorite treatment for bruises and sore muscles:
Aloe Vera Gel/Liquid and Coconut Oil for bruises. For sore muscles, I use “Dr. Olivers Power Tea,” which I make with “Joint Care Herbal Tea, Coconut Oil, and Pure Beef Gelatin.”
Who would you most like to have in the audience when you pole dance?
Gilles Marini from Dancing with the Stars! UHLALA! LOL
Who is your hero or role model?
Wow! I have a few. In life, in general — I would have to say my daughter. She is an amazing woman/person. In the pole dancing arena, there are so many great women. If I had to pick, the four women I watch and study the most are Jenyne Butterfly, Alethea Austin, Pantera and Felix. In the holistic arena, hands down, Paul Chek.
What are your favorite words of encouragement?
Girlfriend, you rock! (with a high-five!)
Favorite pizza toppings:
Mushroom and onion.
Cupcakes or ice cream?
Yuummm, both together (ice cream on top of cupcake), please. I have to admit, sweets are my downfall.
Anything else you’d like to share:
I have met a lot of pole dancers since I started two years ago. Most of them have been incredible, amazing, gracious women. I would like to thank all of them not only for the inspiration I have received from them, but also for the inspiration they are constantly putting out to the world.
If you are looking for exercise with an added spin, or pole dancing classes in Dubiln, California, be sure to contact Marilyn Rainville.
There are very few things as sexy as hips. They strut, they tease - in short, they totally rule. And when pole dancing, you want to be sure not to leave them out. Hips are absolutely essential when doing transitions.
Belly Dance Moves Every Pole Dancer Should Know
As you’ve all come to know by now (or soon will), I am a belly dancer by training, and that infuses pretty much every kind of movement I do, pole included. Heck, pole especially.
It’s easy to get caught up in the gymnastic side of pole, but the dancing part is what pulls it all together. And belly dance moves go really well with pole. After all, both are very sultry, sexy dance styles, and both use a lot of isolations. I thought it would be great to show you some classic belly dance moves that you can easily work into any pole dance routine.
Reverse Horizontal Figure Eight
The reverse horizontal figure eight may not sound like the sexiest move, but, believe me, done well, it will knock their socks off! The video below will show you, step by step, how to do this move and ways to use it in conjunction with pole. There are a few things you should keep in mind as you watch:
Push into your hip sockets. This is essential for this move. You need to exaggerate the motion to get the figure eight effect.
Move slowly. Languorous movements are the essence of sultry dancing. Sure, dancing quickly looks cool, but if you do it slowly, you turn the show into one big tease.
Watch your hips as they move. When you watch your own movements, you pull the audience in through your gaze.
Use the pole as a frame. You can do this move in front of the pole, behind the pole, or next to the pole. However you choose, be aware that you are contrasting this curvy motion against the straightness of the pole. If you are in front of or behind the pole, make longer, slower movements to be sure the movement can be seen around the pole. If you are standing next to the pole, you can make the movement as big or as little as you like.
Do half the move. Sometimes, half a reverse horizontal figure eight makes for a beautiful transition. It can be used to turn you around smoothly, or to accentuate a pose.
Click on the video below to see how to do this move:
There you have it. A simple belly dance movement that looks beautiful when combined with pole. Play with it and let me know how it works for you!
If you’ve ever wondered about entering a pole dance competition, you’ll want to read this. Mel just competed in her first pole competition - and WON third!! Way to go, Mel!
How did you get started taking pole dancing lessons?
It was just about a year ago. I was six months shy of 40 and a younger friend of mine really wanted to try this Pole Dancing thing. She was a dancer and kind of sexy, and I thought “What the hell, it’ll be a fun night out!” So away we went to Studio Soiree in Sugarhouse, UT. At that very first class, I discovered that I liked moving my body in really sexy ways. I liked that I was sweating from walking around the pole so much, and I liked that I learned how to frisk the pole and could take that little exercise home and show my man! It just took off from there.
How did you decide to enter your first pole dance competition?
Actually, the decision was not a tough one. I have done theater most of my life, and I cannot EVER pass up a chance to have an audience. When the Miss Pole Dance Utah Competition was announced I signed myself up right away - that was the easiest part of the whole experience.
How did you create the pole dance routine you used in the competition?
Ah, see this was the hardest part! I had no idea how to create a routine. Luckily, I have the most awesome supportive Pole Buddies at Studio Soiree - all the ladies help each other out. So, I wrote down all the tricks I knew I could pull off well. I then needed to find music that would work for me. That was tough. It had to be under three minutes, and it had to be a song I could listen to continuously for a month!
I ended up making a playlist with all the songs I liked that fit the time criteria. Soon, two favorites popped up and I chose “I Want You” by Rachel Yamagata. It had a little bit of humor in it, it was slow but not boring, and I really liked the song. After that, it was a matter of building the routine. Honestly, as the competition got closer, I had some serious feelings of insecurity - a relatively new feeling for me! I started to doubt that I could pull it off. After all, I’m 40, I have never worked out before, I’m not that flexible, and, worst of all, I flunked out of ballet when I was in elementary school. Having to do this routine really brought up old body issues for me - all arms and legs that don’t quite know what to do with themselves. Grrrr. I got some fantastic advice from Lorinda - one of the owners of our studio. She said, “Mel, you need to just do what you do best. Have fun, and get a character, and rock it.”
Something about getting a character resonated in me. I ended up having a dream. In it, I was performing the routine. I was in black and white - like an old silent film. I woke up knowing exactly what I was going to do. At the competition, I was in my black PoleSkivvies, a black and white polka dot bikini, and a black tutu and performed my ass off! I had fun and just showed everyone how much I enjoy playing on the pole!
What happens at a pole dance competition? Tell us all about it!
Oh my gosh! So much fun! There were about 23 hot ladies who were competing, plus several performers as well. We all gathered back stage and fought over the mirrors, chatted, and tried to look confident. We had to sign posters with our pictures on them - that was really fun - made me feel like a star! Then we had a photo shoot. We all got ten minutes on the pole and we got to see a glimpse of everyone’s routines. That was TOTALLY intimidating. These women were AMAZING! Then, the audience starts filing in. The noise of the crowd gets really loud because everyone is so excited. It’s electric! It fills you up! Then, the lights dim and you know its time to begin. The first competitor takes the stage and it is on!
I was a bit surprised, but I was so calm. I was just so excited and happy to be a part of the very first competition in Utah. I competed in the Intermediate category and was about the fourth one in our division to compete. I walked onto the stage, took my place, and waited for my music. When it started, I completely disappeared and the Silent Movie character took over. I hit my tricks, pointed my toes, and could not wipe the smile off my face! People were yelling and cheering, but I didn’t even hear them, I was in the ZONE ….
When it was all over, after all the competitors were through, I was BLOWN away by the talent I had just gotten to witness. The strength was awesome and beautiful!
At the awards ceremony, they announced the 3rd place winner - it was ME!!! I was so surprised! I actually said “Are You Fuc*ing KIDDING me??????” But, I have the coolest trophy to prove it. The rest of the night was a huge party with my favorite women!
I highly recommend everyone to do a competition at least once. It is a truly amazing experience!
Favorite makeup tip:
I SUCK with makeup, but I never go out without mascara and lip gloss. OH! Also, wash your face every night!
Barefoot, sneakers, or platform heels?
95% of the time I am barefoot. I didn’t start wearing heels until I made it to Level 3, but I sure do enjoy it! When I am not on the pole, barefoot - preferably with one or two toes stuck in the sand, and a rum and coke in my hand.
Favorite grip enhancer:
Well, I started to use Dry Grip when I started taking Advanced Core Pole. We do a lot of crazy holds in that class and since we are all sweaty, a little grip enhancer is necessary. However, we had Pantera visit our studio and she reprimanded me for using a grip enhancer while conditioning. Since I *Heart* Pantera, I will obey ….
Pole dance move that made you proudest to learn:
I think learning and perfecting the Jasmine was a very proud moment of mine. I love that hold! Lately, I am perfecting my Electric Leg Switch and was stoked when I did it a few times in a row the other day.
Pole dance pet peeves:
Well, I actually LOVE the bruises (is that weird?) - I show them off regularly! I think ruined pedicures and hitting a pole plateau are my two biggest complaints. The toe thing I got covered with Gel Toes - amazing, sparkly, not quite acrylics for toes. They stand up to the beating we give them. As for plateauing? You know, you keep trying to do a trick and it is just not working out. And you feel like you have hit the wall with it? I keep telling myself it is in my head. I don’t know - any tips???
Favorite treatment for bruises and sore muscles:
Easy - four ibuprofen and a relaxing dip in the hot tub.
Who would you most like to have in the audience when you pole dance?
The more the better! I do have to say, knowing that my husband and daughters were in the audience at the competition really upped my game.
Who is your hero or role model?
Jeez, everyone! Since beginning pole at Studio Soiree, I have met so many fascinating and interesting people. They are like onions. You meet them and think “Oh, they are nice”, then you get to know them and hear about their lives and what they have overcome or what they are going through, and you think “Holy Crap, I had no idea this person was so interesting!” Onion people - LOVE THEM! Ok, and, not to name drop or anything, but after spending a couple hours with Pantera, I want to be her!!!!
What are your favorite words of encouragement?
“Do it again!” I am a total glutton for punishment and if I am challenged I will totally go for it. So, when one of my trainers says, “Nope, not right, do it again!” I jump at it! Also - “Holy crap, Mel! That was awesome!” works for me too!
Favorite pizza toppings:
Sausage, Pepperoni, Mushrooms … or The White Garlic Pizza - heaven!
Cupcakes or ice cream?
Both please! With extra frosting.
Anything else you’d like to share:
I have never been good at anything remotely fitness oriented in my life. I was always the last picked for teams (being the girl with glasses and braces and at least a foot taller than all your classmates does that for ya!). Finding a supportive studio and women who are all rooting for you was a huge change for me. This pole fitness thing really changed my mental outlook - I walk differently, I talk about myself differently, and I really have found my center. I have finally let my sexy side out to play and I am loving it. (Yes, pole fitness is sexy - get over it!)
It has driven me crazy for years whenever I hear belly dancers insisting that their dance style is sensual, but not sexual.
“Oh,” they say, in voices dripping with honey, “belly dance is a very sensual dance. It’s not sexual at all,” they then add in a scolding tone, implying to all within earshot that they are a true feminist icon, while I obviously see women as mindless chattel good for only one thing.
And now I’m finding the same thing in the pole dance community.
Ah, the stench of self-righteousness
The thing that drives me nuts about this is the smugness. The sense that they are not only better dancers, but better people. Better women. And all because there is no sexuality in their dancing. Just none. They are so pure, you see. The rest of us may be content to prance around like a bunch of unfeminist whores, but they are delicate little flowers.*
Why is sexuality in dance a bad thing?
If you take the sexuality out of dance, you wind up with something about as thrilling to watch as Lawrence Welk.** Cute and peppy it may be, but in no way does it resemble what your average pole dancer is trying to achieve.
This virgin/whore split is absolutely destructive to creativity. You can’t be a good dancer if you look like a passionless drone, so why would any dancer want to buy into this mentality?
Sexuality and Pole Dance
Historically, a lot of dance styles have made their way from the lower classes to the higher classes, gaining acceptability to the middle classes along the way. Tango is the classic example of this - a bawdy, working-class dance that was too risque to be indulged in in good company. Bit by bit, of course, it gained acceptability, and now Latin Dance competitions featuring tango are considered highly cultured.
Given pole dancing’s association with strip clubs, it’s no surprise it’s frowned on as being too sexual. The problem, of course, is that it’s also too fun - which means even the smugly politically-correct want to give it a try. They just have to separate themselves from the Great Unwashed by insisting that when they do it, there’s no sexuality in it at all.
What it all boils down to
The real issue is not whether the dance is sexual or sensual. The issue is whether the dance is good. And good dancing requires dancers to feel into every cell of their bodies, to be fully present with each movement and gesture, and to lure the audience into their world. There is no way this can be done without a physical consciousness and emotional awareness that cannot be separated from either sensuality or sexuality.
To immerse yourself in your creativity, to drench yourself in the passion of your expression is to be sexual. If you connect with your body and express the pleasure of movement when you dance, there will be sexuality in your dance style.
Nobody has a problem with this when it’s Bob Fosse’s Chicago being staged on Broadway.
But start talking about this in connection with pole dancing, and all hell breaks loose.
*What exactly do we mean by the terms “sensuality” and “sexuality,” anyway? There’s not a heck of a lot of difference - just look up sensuality in the dictionary. Of course, perhaps they mean to say sensuous instead of sensual, but I find it hard to believe anyone is that clear on the distinction. (I sure wasn’t.)
**Now, personally, I find the old Lawrence Welk show absolutely fascinating. I mean, how can musicians and dancers be so absolutely sexless? Perfect steps, perfect turns, but no zing at all. I just don’t buy it - I figure they were all engaging in wild bondage and whipping orgies the minute they were through taping. But maybe that’s just me.
Yannori is an incredible pole dancer who also runs Express the Sensual, a site where you can find pole dancing tips and tricks with a sensual spin - plus a ton of FREE articles and videos. I am hooked!
How did you get started taking pole dancing lessons?
I went to my first pole dancing workshop on a dare. I didn’t know anyone, and I absolutely hated the first 20 minutes. They kept asking me to take my hair down and I didn’t want to (imagine me stomping my foot like a silly princess, please). But, the moment I did my first spin around the pole, I knew that I had finally found something that would be tons more fun than the Stairmaster at the gym, help me explore my femininity, and get me in rocking shape.
How did you make the leap to opening your own studio and offering pole dancing classes? What was that like?
After spending a year at one of the popular pole dancing studios in LA, I realized that my pole classes weren’t teaching me the safety and injury prevention techniques that I needed to pole dance forever. So, I checked around until I found Shawn Lee from PoleCat Power. She was everything I wanted in a Master Instructor: a background in classical dance, 20 years experience as a personal trainer, an aerial instructors license, and 15 years experience as a real stripper from Vegas. After taking classes with her for one year, I joined her teacher training program. It was an easy transition, thanks to her instructor training methods. And now, I teach pole skills & pole safety techniques to instructors!
What is the first thing you teach students just starting to take pole dancing classes?
The first thing we develop is a sense of balance in relation to the pole. I absolutely believe that you have to understand how to fly before you can take your feet off the ground. Within the first class, everybody gets that amazing feeling of sensual spinning. They say it’s like drinking just the perfect amount of champagne.
How do you take care of yourself, given all the pole dancing classes you teach?
I make sure that I follow all the safety and injury prevention techniques. I absolutely practice what I preach. I pace out my lessons and make sure that I continue my own pole training so that the exercise I get while teaching is easy for me. I have a special diet that I’ve developed over the last 10 years, which I absolutely love, and I spend plenty of time with my friends and family. If you treat life as one big dance, you’ll always have something to smile about.
Favorite makeup tip:
Use Aveda makeup to highlight your beauty. Their natural products have kept my skin looking amazing at 33 years old.
Barefoot, sneakers, or platform heels?
Actually, I’m big on barefoot dancing, but with jazz dance toe socks. They cover the ball of your foot and make it easier to twirl and turn on any surface.
Eco Balls. I swear by them for learning new tricks. Just don’t overuse them and get dependent.
Pole dance move that made you proudest to learn:
The Stable Aysha. I love being able to transition between the splits, to straight legs, to the Brass Monkey.
Pole dance pet peeves:
I dislike it when people run around the pole to get into flying spins moves and I really hate it when people diss someone else’s pole dancing style. It’s about having fun, getting fit, and being safe … not criticism.
Favorite treatment for bruises and sore muscles:
Actually, I rarely get bruises anymore, but I recommend arnica and a salt bath to my students.
Watch this great video of Yannori:
Who would you most like to have in the audience when you pole dance?
Hmm, that’s a difficult question to answer. I’d say that I have two favorite audiences … 1) Fellow pole dancers who enjoy watching all the different styles in a pole dancing showcase, and 2) People who simply enjoy the feminine nature of my style of sensual and emotional pole dancing. It’s fun to be the eye candy once in a while. *wink*
Who is your hero or role model?
I’d say Shawn Francis Lee, Pantera, and Jamilla. They are all amazing pole dancers and they are all fanatical about teaching pole in a safe and fun atmosphere.
What are your favorite words of encouragement?
I love to teach woman to express their sensual nature through improvisational dance, so oddly enough, my words of encouragement are either “Breathe deep” or “Holy Crap that was F&*^%$ HOT!”
Favorite pizza toppings:
Roasted red peppers.
Cupcakes or ice cream?
Cupcakes. Homemade, dark chocolate, almond cupcakes. YUM.
Anything else you’d care to share:
Practice safe pole!
Yannori teaches classes and workshops in Los Angeles and online at Balance Elemental. She also writes an incredible pole dance blog with lots of free information and videos at Express the Sensual.
Once, when I was nineteen, I got a little bored with my desk job. While some people might seek to remedy that by taking up a hobby, I preferred to get a weekend job doing phone sex. It was a fascinating place to work and I’m happy to share with you what I learned there.
So, without further ado, here are the Five Fundamentals of Good Phone Sex - and the mysterious lessons they hold for pole dancing.
1. They are paying by the minute.
In phone sex, you’ve got a slightly oppositional situation on your hands: he’s trying to save money by racing to the finish line; you’re trying to make money by keeping him going as long as possible. So, how do you deal with that? In truth, you don’t need to, because the only thing that matters is that the client leaves feeling he got his money’s worth.
And that’s the part that applies to pole dancing: you’ve got to give the audience their money’s worth. That means dancing with all your heart, throwing yourself into it, and really putting on a show. Give ‘em all you’ve got, and leave ‘em with a smile, baby.
2. The second they come, they hang up.
One of the funniest things I remember on the gay line, was a bunch of huffing and puffing guys lighting up the switchboard in one huge, telephonic circle jerk. Puffing and moaning until the big finish, when click, click, click, one after another after another, they all hung up. After all, no use sticking around once the show’s over.
In pole dancing, this translates to holding their interest until the very end. They finish only when you let them finish. Until then, keep stringing them along. You do this with good choreography, a flirtatious bit of tease, and some gorgeous moves on the pole.
3. Tie ‘em up and suck ‘em off.
That was my standard storyline - endlessly adaptable and universally desirable. Even if they insist otherwise. (And maybe especially if they insist otherwise.)
Needless to say, this doesn’t mean I think you should begin every pole dance with a whip and end on your knees. Rather, I’m pointing out the inherent desirability of simplicity. You don’t need to worry if you can’t do twenty different inverts, or even if you can’t do a single one. It doesn’t matter. A couple of pretty spins, some elegant transitions, superb audience rapport, and you will have a resounding success on your hands. Luckily, as in phone sex, this won’t be messy.
4. They need to believe you’re into it.
In phone sex, this means you spend a ridiculous amount of time fake moaning and insisting you’re “doing it, too. Mmmm … oh, yeah, more ….”
With pole dancing, it means you really have to engage with the music and the audience. You are their connection to both the music and the movement. If you get into it, it gives them permission to look at you and enjoy. If they can tell you’re uncomfortable or nervous, they lose interest and may even feel they shouldn’t be watching you. That means, at best, they start talking to their friends, and, at worst, it means they walk out. So let the music flow into you, until you naturally begin to move with it. Let it inspire you, and let yourself inspire your audience.
5. Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep during a call.
I actually got laid off (no pun intended) from the phone sex job for doing this. You cannot imagine how boring those calls can get. Really, you can only listen to the same thing so many times before you find yourself dozing off.
In pole dancing, obviously you’re not going to fall asleep in the middle of your performance. And, god willing, your audience won’t fall asleep in the middle of it, either. But if you lose focus or go on auto-pilot, you ruin the show. Remember the previous point: they have to believe you’re into it. Not falling asleep means you stay into it until the very end. It means you don’t disconnect because you get offbeat or because there’s a problem with your costume. Once you’re performing, you are giving a show, and you keep giving the show - no matter the obstacles - until you take a bow and the audience applauds.
In 2005, I saw an episode of Oprah. Several months later I was on a plane to L.A. for instructor training.
How did you make the leap to opening your own studio? What was that like?
I started small. I rented a studio space three days a week that allowed me to leave my pole up. I taught six women on one pole for over a year! It was scary moving into my own space, for sure, but I knew I had to in order to grow my business. I now have six poles and my very own space! I love it.
What is the first thing you teach new pole dance students?
Our sensuous warm up on the floor. Then, I teach them the ’stripper stand up’ and how to walk around the pole.
How do you take care of yourself, given all the classes you teach?
I take a long nap when I am feeling wiped out. Also, I try to get a massage on a regular basis.
Favorite makeup tip:
It’s unbelievable what a difference your eyebrows can make. I keep mine plucked and shapely. I have light brows so I use a little shadow to shade them in.
Barefoot, sneakers, or platform heels?
I danced for two years barefoot, but now I am hooked on heels! I can’t dance without them.
Favorite grip enhancer:
The spray on version of GRRRIP for climbing and inverting, and the Eco Ball by Metolious for lighter grip.
Pole dance move that made you proudest to learn:
I get excited whenever I get anything new. I was really excited when I got the Superman and the Aisha. Also, I never thought I would be able to do the Knee Hold (ouch) or the Straight Edge.
Pole dance pet peeves:
Unpointed toes!
Favorite treatment for bruises and sore muscles:
Epsom salts. It’s a trick I learned while attending Cornish College of the Arts. I was taking ballet and modern dance and sometimes felt like I’d been hit by a truck after classes. A friend told me to soak in a hot bath of Epsom salts. It is amazing for achy, sore muscles.
Who would you most like to have in the audience when you pole dance?
I like dancing for my students the most. They really appreciate what it’s all about.
Who is your hero or role model?
Jesus is my hero.
What are your favorite words of encouragement?
Beautiful!
Favorite pizza toppings:
Pepperoni and pineapple.
Cupcakes or ice cream?
Ice cream - Dove with the layer of ganache on top!! YUM.
Anything else you’d like to share:
My favorite song to dance to right now is Starstruck by Santogold. Also, I really love Cold Cold Water by Mirah.
Well, obviously, I don’t mean real trolls. The only real trolls live in Iceland and, from what I understand, are not much into pole dancing. I mean body image trolls. You know, the ones that live in your head and jump out at you when you least expect it.
Tummy Trolls
I live with a few different trolls - tummy trolls, hip trolls, and - more and more - hair color trolls. Generally, we all live together peacefully, but in low moments they come out to graze. This weekend, my tummy troll woke up early Saturday morning and decided that the best way for me to give a belly dance workshop was if I suddenly felt as if my mid-section were one freakishly shapeless blob.
Now, I’m not sure why tummy trolls feel this is a useful perspective, but they do. Perhaps they see their role as giving us ample opportunity to dive ever deeper into our emotional baggage, hoping we’ll whittle it down to the size of a tiny lipstick clutch.
Whatever their reasoning, my response is usually the same:
First, I wonder what could have happened.
I was so beautiful the last time I checked. Whatever could have changed?
Then, I blame the lighting.
This works well since the lighting in my condo is especially flattering on my tummy. Well, unless I’m videoing, in which case the lighting morphs me into something bizarre and bulbous - but that may just be my troll talking again.
Next, I progress to obstinance.
Nonsense, I tell myself and my troll. I am beautiful. Glorious. Shapely and deliciously feminine. Men find my tummy particularly inviting.
These are true facts and should flatten any argument the troll may have. But they don’t. Instead, I weaken.
Have I gotten out of shape? Has middle-aged spread finally descended upon me? Have I been walking through life this unattractive all along and didn’t even know it?
A Language They Understand
Eventually, I realize I am spiraling down into a quagmire of low self-esteem and mental self-flagellation. I have tried to talk sense to my troll, but words are no use against them. They live nestled inside the deep recesses of our hearts and must be spoken to with feeling and passion, in a language they can truly understand. There was only one thing I could do.
I danced.
I belly danced. I pole danced. I stretched and spinned and inverted. I breathed deeply into my tummy and felt my muscles extend as I leaned into each move.
Confidence Restored
The troll understood, at last. He withdrew to his nesting grounds and left me to enjoy my day. My tummy was beautiful again. And I knew it.
Do you have body image trolls? What are your experiences with these persistent little creatures? Have you ever danced them away?
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