2010 USPDF Championships

Exhausted, Exhilarated, and Trying to Type

What a weekend.

I keep trying to figure out how to put this into words and I am almost too fried to do it – which doesn’t even make sense, since I didn’t touch a pole all weekend. All I did was meet some of the coolest people on this earth and cheer for the best, most incredible pole dancing ever.

My incredibly insightful analysis of the event

If you saw me at the competitions, then you know I was busy scribbling notes about every single performance, so I would be sure to remember. Which is a great and wonderful idea – except that in the end, how many different words for AWESOME are there?

So, let me put it this way:

OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD.

Seriously. I had no idea pole dancing could be that awe-inspiring. I mean, I’ve seen some great performances, but mainly I’ve seen short recitals (and not many of those), or youtube videos.

These are not representative.

The fact is, I was totally unprepared for how much my mind was going to be blown from just seeing so many elite performances, one after another after another.

I was flipping out – as the row of linebackers in front of me learned when they lingered in an upright position too long in the middle of one of the dances. Never before have so many six-footers received the wrath of one tiny blogger. I seem to recall bitch-slapping one of them.

But I digress.

The thing is, I don’t know what to say. It was that incredible. These women are FEARLESS. And so goddamned strong. And so smokin’ hot. I was so proud of my pole sisters – I had no idea what you all could do!

I wish I could list every single detail of what struck me about each performer but … wait a minute … this is my blog; I actually can do that.

Just please don’t go all OCD on my ass if some people’s comments are longer than others – I was scribbling in the dark between sets, so have some pity on me and know that I LOVED THEM ALL.

So now, in the order they were listed in the program, and praying to god I don’t forget anyone (because I know you’ll all hunt me down, and like I could ever fend off a group of marauding pole dancers) …

First, the “amateurs” …

Becca Butcher

Becca especially rocked the optionals, where her style could really be showcased. I loved – LOVED – the reverse striptease she did. Yes, REVERSE striptease – she put ON a shirt. How’s that for originality?

Caterina Gennaro

The only word I could ever use to describe Caterina’s style is INTENSE. When she grabs that pole, she means it – pure power.

Amy Guion

Contortions and a real sense of how to give a performance (you know how much I love that!). Gorgeous!

Kyra Johannesen – Runner Up of the USPDF Amateur Division

Ever want to know how to make eye contact with a large audience? Ask Kyra. I also loved how she explored every nuance of her music – and the belly dancer in me especially appreciated the shoulder shimmy!

Mina Mortezaie – Winner of the USPDF Amateur Division

Whenever I see this kind of gymnastic skill coupled with so much stage presence, I am just blown away. Amazing.

Amy Richard

What is with the Richard sisters? It’s as if they are made entirely of long legs and pole ability. Amy has a beautiful style all her own and is definitely one to watch for!

Now, the pro division …

Alethea Austin – 2010 USPDF Champion

When you take a sexy, incredibly bendy girl with a fearless approach to handcuffs, you get Alethea. Seriously. I mean, how do you do all that while shackled to a pole?

Sarah Cretul

My notes on Sarah are two words and two words only: JESUS and WOW. Pretty much says it all.

Takeila Fox

Takeila is a longtime tweep, but she is so modest I had no idea just how incredible she is. Her tricks absolutely blew me away!

Lauren Goldstein

I could say a thousand things about how smooth and awesome Lauren’s dancing is, but my notes show what I was really thinking: SEX ON A STICK. Truly fantastic!

Karol Helms – 2010 USPDF Miss Sexy

Hot and bendy, that would be Karol. I’m not yet convinced this girl isn’t made of rubber.

Zoraya Judd

Strong and smooth, that’s Zoraya. I could not believe how long she held some of those tricks! Spell-binding.

Brynlyn Loomis

Brynlyn does pole dancing as true theater – like Broadway, only vertical. Sexy, sassy, and totally fun to see! (Loved meeting her ever-so-proud mom, too!)

Jessalyn Medairy

Jessalyn alternates between so elegant you can’t believe it, and full-speed tricks with the utmost of control. Brilliant!

Leigh Ann Orsi

Leigh Ann’s Wild Thing medley just rocked my world! A complete extravaganza of pole tricks and sexy dancing!

Amber Richard

If Amber was scared of being stereotyped as the ballet chick, she sure shot that out of the water! Showing off her classical training at the beginning, and switching (in a moment of hilarious theater!) to sizzling hot, raw pole dancing, Amber was AWESOME.

Gabrielle Valliere

The art of the flirt is alive and well and living inside Gabrielle. My notes on her dance style? DELICIOUS.

Estee Zakar – 2010 USPDF Miss Trixter

I really don’t even know how to describe her tricks. So fast, so smooth, so sharp, I was on the edge of my seat. This is all interpreted in my notes (in my typically vulgar style) as FUCKIN’ A.

Allegra King – 2010 Miss Pole Dance Australia

This was an unexpected treat! I am not sure, but I think I detected some belly dance influence in Allegra’s sensually curving moves. Not to mention the snake. And all the tricks you’ve come to expect when you hear the words “Australian pole dancer.”

Jenyne Butterfly – 2009 USPDF Champion

Jenyne, Jenyne, Jenyne. Videos do not do your pole dancing justice. Your fluidity and grace are matched only by your incredible ability with pole tricks. Mesmerizing.

Huge thanks to …

Anna Grundstrom and Wendy Traskos. You put together a breathtaking show and I take my hat off to you for coordinating all the prizes and tours involved in the USPDF. Great job!

Kira Morris, Dameka Hayes, and Brook Notary. The judges. I don’t know how you do it – I couldn’t have chosen!

JoAnna Ross. A great emcee – loved the Martha Stewart pole dance reference!

The pole cleaners. I’m afraid I didn’t catch their names, but they did a great job keeping the poles clean and safe for each performance. The zambonis of the USPDF!

Poletential Thank you so much for the After Party! No one wanted the pole dancing to end, and it was great knowing that it didn’t have to! (Loved Eddie the doorman, too!)

Symphony Space. A great venue for the event, with the most helpful, kind staff ever. Monica was especially wonderful! Their production manager, whose name I’ve forgotten, is also an EMT, and he was both incredibly helpful and incredibly compassionate in helping an elderly man who fell down in the street outside the theater between events.

Extra hugs and thanks to my pole buddies. It was such a joy to meet all of you! I would list your names, but I am too terrified of forgetting someone. Suffice it to say, that you are all the most amazing, most delightful, most exuberant people I could ever hope to meet. And I only wish I could see you all more often!

And, of course, each and every one of the performers. You gave me an experience I could not have imagined in my dreams. Watching you pole dance – every single one of you – was a gift that I will treasure. THANK YOU.

And now, to sleep

Okay, so that’s my take on the USPDF. Again, please cut me some slack on the comments. I really just wanted to say what was in my heart about each of these women’s amazing performances. I know it’s a competition and not everyone can win, but it’s just unimaginable how beautiful all of these dances were, and how unique each dancer’s style was.

You know how much I go on about stage presence and putting life into your pole dancing? Well, these performers know how to do that backwards and forwards. It was a pure joy to see.

P.S. Thank you to everyone who took a picture with me – like an idiot, I left my camera at home, so you gave me my souvenirs of the event!

Madelynne of Vertical Fitness and Me at the USPDF!

Journey and Me at the USPDF!

Elyse Demonowski, Sissybuns, and Me at the USPDF!

Karol Helms, Caterina Gennaro, and Me at the USDPF!

Do tell! What were your special memories of the USPDF?

March 22, 2010 - Posted by PoleSkivvies 8 Comments
Filed under: Pole Dance Competitions