Sensuality, Sexuality, and Stuck Up Pole Dancers
A Pet Peeve of Mine
It has driven me crazy for years whenever I hear belly dancers insisting that their dance style is sensual, but not sexual.
“Oh,” they say, in voices dripping with honey, “belly dance is a very sensual dance. It’s not sexual at all,” they then add in a scolding tone, implying to all within earshot that they are a true feminist icon, while I obviously see women as mindless chattel good for only one thing.
And now I’m finding the same thing in the pole dance community.
Ah, the stench of self-righteousness
The thing that drives me nuts about this is the smugness. The sense that they are not only better dancers, but better people. Better women. And all because there is no sexuality in their dancing. Just none. They are so pure, you see. The rest of us may be content to prance around like a bunch of unfeminist whores, but they are delicate little flowers.*
Why is sexuality in dance a bad thing?
If you take the sexuality out of dance, you wind up with something about as thrilling to watch as Lawrence Welk.** Cute and peppy it may be, but in no way does it resemble what your average pole dancer is trying to achieve.
This virgin/whore split is absolutely destructive to creativity. You can’t be a good dancer if you look like a passionless drone, so why would any dancer want to buy into this mentality?
Sexuality and Pole Dance
Historically, a lot of dance styles have made their way from the lower classes to the higher classes, gaining acceptability to the middle classes along the way. Tango is the classic example of this – a bawdy, working-class dance that was too risque to be indulged in in good company. Bit by bit, of course, it gained acceptability, and now Latin Dance competitions featuring tango are considered highly cultured.
Given pole dancing’s association with strip clubs, it’s no surprise it’s frowned on as being too sexual. The problem, of course, is that it’s also too fun – which means even the smugly politically-correct want to give it a try. They just have to separate themselves from the Great Unwashed by insisting that when they do it, there’s no sexuality in it at all.
What it all boils down to
The real issue is not whether the dance is sexual or sensual. The issue is whether the dance is good. And good dancing requires dancers to feel into every cell of their bodies, to be fully present with each movement and gesture, and to lure the audience into their world. There is no way this can be done without a physical consciousness and emotional awareness that cannot be separated from either sensuality or sexuality.
To immerse yourself in your creativity, to drench yourself in the passion of your expression is to be sexual. If you connect with your body and express the pleasure of movement when you dance, there will be sexuality in your dance style.
Nobody has a problem with this when it’s Bob Fosse’s Chicago being staged on Broadway.
But start talking about this in connection with pole dancing, and all hell breaks loose.
*What exactly do we mean by the terms “sensuality” and “sexuality,” anyway? There’s not a heck of a lot of difference – just look up sensuality in the dictionary. Of course, perhaps they mean to say sensuous instead of sensual, but I find it hard to believe anyone is that clear on the distinction. (I sure wasn’t.)
**Now, personally, I find the old Lawrence Welk show absolutely fascinating. I mean, how can musicians and dancers be so absolutely sexless? Perfect steps, perfect turns, but no zing at all. I just don’t buy it – I figure they were all engaging in wild bondage and whipping orgies the minute they were through taping. But maybe that’s just me.
If you liked this article, you’ll also want to read Strippers and Pole Dancing.
Bravo. It is about sex, sexuality, sensuality, flesh, eroticism, suggestion, and our carnal desires. The pole is one big phallic symbol. Uh, hello! But for some they just can’t admit, can’t go there, can’t fully expose themselves yet. But the key word is YET. Pole dancing becoming mainstream, whether we embrace the sexuality of it or pretend it’s not there, is still one step closer to the sexual enlightenment we all need, in this country especially! The more of us that put it out there, the more accepted it becomes for us to embrace the gifts we have, the joy of our curves, our sex and our bodies, the better it will be for our daughters and their daughters. YEAH!
Fuck! I love that I can cuss on this website! Yah, it makes me bananas when I see women pole dancing on YouTube with absolutely no hip action and no emotion and, basically, no soul.
I read a quote by a ballet critic once that said something like this: what makes a performer worth watching is a combination of technical skill and raw, high-octane emotion. This emotion is directly linked to the animalistic sex drive and it’s what fuels a powerful performance. So it’s not just pole dancing that requires a certain kind of sexuality, it’s ALL dancing, really.
As women, when we pole dance, we are telling a story with our bodies and more often than not, that story is a sexual (sensual? whatever) one. It’s important that we keep telling this story so that other women, whether they pole dance or not, can begin to see that this is ok.
When I see a dancer throw a bunch of tricks, gymnast style, on a pole, with no sensuality, no emotion, no dance I wonder how it is possible that this woman became so far divorced from her sexual animalistic side in such an erotic practice. And it worries me for some of the same reasons that Jennifer brings up on her post about the stripper vs pole dancer rift.
Hi everyone. This is a first for me, commenting (or reading!) a pole dancing blog, but as someone who has dated a belly dancer, I have to say that the distinction between sensuous and sexual does not apply for me–as far as belly dancing.
I nominate Angi’s suggestion of “sexuous” for pole and belly dancing.
I recently commented on one pole video “Truly an amazing GYMNAST, but not pole dancer. Was it just me or there was no single HIP CIRCLE in the 6 min. routine?” lol Yep, she won, she was strong as Hercules, flexible as a rubber and …..FUCK, it drives me nuts when hips are not moving.
Another interesting blog.
I agree with many of your points here regarding snobbery, but
I do believe there is a vast difference between the word sensuality and sexuality. Also, I think that this blog is actually fostering snobbery and division. ( just with a different opinion.) We should respect people who choose to discern between the words sexuality and sensuality and not lump them into a snob category! We should all endeavor to play nice if we want to be united.
In my mind the word sensuality and sexuality would be like the difference between making love and having sex. Does this qualify me as a snob? I don’t know why but the word sexuality has a more abrasive sound to it. It seems devoid of the whole of a woman’s sexuality. Not descriptive or expressive enough. It doesn’t illuminate a woman’s captivating sexual soul. It seems more superficial and one dimensional to me personally.
When I dance it feels, most often, like making love. Possibly because of the music I dance to. I truly enjoy this experience. Although I do enjoy just “having sex” sometimes!
I feel “sensuality” and “sensuous” are more appropriate descriptions of what I do, so I use these words on my site:)
I like the word sensuous even better! I believe there is more of a yielding tenderness and vulnerability in the word “sensuousness”. There is more giving of ones self. There is some LOVE in it. I often feel like I have a heightened sense of awareness when I am dancing and this is a good word for that. Sometimes I am feeling immense pleasure but it is not necessarily sexual pleasure per se. (and sometimes it is.)
Maybe we should come up with a new word! ha.
Here are the dictionary definitions.
definitions: SENSUOUS
1. Appealing to or gratifying the senses.
2. Readily affected through the senses.
2. Highly appreciative of the pleasures of sensation. (OH yeah!)
Definition of SEXUAL:
sexual character; possession of the structural and functional traits of sex.
Booooring.
Maybe we should say: Sexuous.
or Sensuex. (that sounds like a name brand for a condom, though.)
much love to you all!
[...] Sensuality, Sexuality, and Pole Dancing [...]
omg, i so agree with everyone here..
Ah!… well if anyone was going to say it like it is it was going to be you! Yes it’s sexual.. hell.. every time I even try to talk to my husband about it he gets his own “pole” and the conversation ends up derailed… on the up side he is all for getting me a pole..spare no expense, now I just have to figure out where I can put it!
Maddie
I hate how people automatically brush it off because it is a sexual dance. I don’t have to take the sexuality away to be taken seriously. It’s part of the dance! Pole dancing is sexual and just like any other dance, it takes hard work and dedication to get it right. And to be able to look sexy while doing it takes talent! Taking the sexuality from pole dance is like taking a lion out of the wild and into a cage. It’s just not as fierce!
Well, this is, as you know, some of the things that’s been puzzling me too. Leaving out the erotic and sexual part in pole dancing. Or simply denying it.
In my opinion it doesn’t matter how good you are technically on the pole if you don’t got that extra thing going. And that extra thing IS your sexuality.
Remember the line from Dirty Dancing: “Come on Ladies! God wouldn’t have given you *maracas* if he didn’t want you to SSSHHHAAAKKKEEE ‘em”
Wild Bondage and Whipping Orgies? Isn’t that the after party plans for “So You Think You Can Dance”?
PS. In case I haven’t told you today…You Rock Jennifer!
I love it!! Finally someone said it
) I always find authentic, raw, sexual pole dance to be the real thing and the only one that looks good 
If you take out the sexuality out if it……..you look like you are dancing next to a plumbing device lol Love your honesty.
I absolutely agree! I’m so sick of people trying to strip pole dancing of sexuality like it’s some sort of dark evil. It’s the expression of the body and the movements that make it so beautiful. That’s why it’s called pole “dancing”. I’ve actually heard of a pole competition that didn’t want any hip movements or hair flicks because that would make it too sexual. But hell, you see that at the local junior high football game from the cheerleaders. What’s so special about a piece of pipe that for some people automatically makes natural body movements evil? Enjoy your God given body and use it!