Pole Dancing Zombies Must Die
The Final Straw
I have now, officially, seen one too many videos of one too many pole dancers, who all apparently studied at the School of Vampira.
Flattened expressions, emotionless faces, going through the moves without an ounce of life in their bodies.
Frankly, I can’t take it anymore.
Honest to god, if I see one more video of one more pole dancer – talented, striking, flexible as a rubber hose – looking like a fucking zombie, I’m going to lose it.
I Blame the Strippers and Gymnasts
There, I said it. Feel free to unsubscribe.
But, if you can just suck it up and hang in there with me, I’d like to talk about this.
Strippers are the number one biggest influence in pole dancing. And, yes, there are strippers who use real emotional expression in their dance. In fact, I’m guessing they are the ones who make the most money.
But that is not what a lot of strippers do, and it is these zombies who, unfortunately for all of us, seem to have become the template for pole dancers all over the globe.
And, as for the gymnasts, they are just as complicit. Pole dancing involves a lot of flexibility and gymnasts tend to pick up pole dancing very quickly.
But gymnastic routines are NOT dancing. Yes, they involve elements of dance – poses, postures, moves – but when you watch competitive gymnastics, you are NOT watching dance.
The Ugly Truth
Here we stand, with the two* biggest influences on pole dancing bringing us right into the realm of the undead. So let me set the record straight:
Pole dancing without expression is boring.
Do you hear me? BORING.
For your own practice? Fine. When learning new moves? Sure. But for a performance? No way.
This is a dance, for christ’s sake.
Honestly, it’s enough for me to think all this talk of pole as empowering and releasing of one’s inner self is just so much bullshit.
If you can’t have an actual expression on your face while you’re dancing, then you are holding back. And if you are holding back, exactly where is the empowerment?
Show Me Who You Are
Your full being needs to be in your dance. Your FULL being.
Not just your flexibility. Or your athletic prowess. Or your seamless transitions.
That is not enough.
YOU need to be in there.
Your passion, your feeling, your vibrancy – ALL of you.
Spelling It Out
Since I don’t want to have to suffer sit through another video of a stunningly talented pole dancer who is boring me to tears with her zombie impersonation, I am going to make this very clear. I don’t want to see any more of this:
- Zero eye contact.
- Zero smiling.
- Zero changes in facial expression.
For god’s sake, you’re studying a stripper art – could you smirk once in awhile? Give a coquettish glance? Smile?
Or even just fucking enjoy yourself?
Until then, I don’t think you get to call it dancing. And I sure as hell know you don’t get to call it performance.
When I Want Zombies, I’ll Ask For Zombies
If I wanted to see a bunch of zombie pole dancers, I’d rent that Jenna Jameson flick. So, since that’s not what I’m watching, could you please throw some personality into your dancing?
To let me know you’re actually a living, breathing human being.
To let me see a bit of who you are.
To touch an emotional chord and actually cause me to FEEL something.
Because that’s what makes it dancing.
Even if you’re bad at it. Even if it’s hard. Even if you are really stiff while you learn how to do it.
But you can’t just skip it or ignore it – because learning how to express yourself is a necessary part of becoming a good pole dancer.
And until you can do that, you’re just a pole dancing zombie – with a long way to go.
*Some might argue the circus is another big influence. Personally, I’m not convinced – mainly because I find most pole dancers discover the circus after beginning to pole, and not before.
If circus does gain more influence on pole, it would be interesting to see which way things would go. I’ve seen some very frozen-faced circus performances, but also some shows roaring with personality. I would be crossing my fingers for the latter!