Let’s face it, not all pole dance teachers are of equal calibre. Some know their stuff – and some don’t. The trick for those of us taking class is to learn to tell the difference.

I’ve written previously on finding a good pole dance teacher, but today I want to highlight some classic teaching types you want to avoid.

The Ignoramus

The ignoramus is a very ubiquitous animal. Typically, The Ignoramus is either self-taught or has taken one or two workshops from famous pole dancers and considers herself fully trained in pole and ready to teach. If she is very experienced in another movement style, that is often her downfall, as she believes her skills to be all she needs to understand how to teach pole.

Students taking class from The Ignoramus should be on the look out for injuries that might indicate they haven’t been taught proper conditioning for, or understanding of, basic pole movements. For instance, muscle spasms or tendonitis. Other signs are if you are being taught cheating techniques, which can indicate the teacher does not know the proper way of getting into position. For instance, kicking up into an invert or jumping into a spin or a climb.

The Ignoramus may truly believe she is teaching properly and may be very dedicated to her students. In such cases, it can be very sad to switch teachers, but, for safety’s sake, it is the wise decision.

The Clueless Instructor

The Clueless Instructor should not be confused with The Ignoramus. Whereas The Ignoramus has convinced herself she knows how to pole when she doesn’t, The Clueless Instructor actually does know how to pole. Often very well. What she doesn’t know is how to teach it. Her failing is in not knowing how to explain to others what she does.

Some signs that your teacher is clueless are an inability to explain a move in more than one way. She may frequently say, “Just do this,” rather than breaking it down step by step. She may also be vague in her recommendations – such as saying you need to build upper body strength without giving any concrete advice on how you should go about doing that.

It can be hard to tear yourself away from The Clueless Instructor, since they are often so stunning on the pole, themselves. The trick is to see how accomplished her students are – and what rate of injury they have. If injury rates are high and progress seems to occur only for a very few, you might be studying under someone who is clueless.

The Sloppy Teacher

The Sloppy Teacher is a sad thing to see. Like The Clueless Instructor, The Sloppy Teacher may be very accomplished on the pole, but the difference is that The Sloppy Teacher actually has a strong understanding of how to teach pole. Sadly, she chooses not to use that information. Maybe she’s gotten so busy she’s overwhelmed. Maybe she’s gotten bored with teaching. Whatever the reason, this teacher talks a good game, but doesn’t walk the walk.

It can be hard to leave The Sloppy Teacher, since her dancing is so good and what she says is so on the ball. What you need to focus on is whether you are getting what she promised. For instance, she may emphasize the need for proper stretching and conditioning, yet skip over that in class. Or she may talk endlessly about injury prevention, then encourage you to attempt moves you are not close to being ready for. The best thing to do with a Sloppy Teacher is enjoy her performances – but get your training elsewhere.

The Egotist

The Egotist is a type found in all artistic endeavors. Her technique may be wonderful, or it may be profoundly mediocre. Regardless, the Egotist lives to be worshiped and views her students as groupies. As a diva bar none, The Egotist needs a camp following. She will be very, very popular with her devoted fans, but those outside her inner circle will often not understand what it is that makes her so great.

It can be hard to distinguish between The Egotist and a pole teacher who is simply very popular. The key is that, rather than promoting her students’ individual styles, The Egotist focuses on making them into little replicas of herself. She will also smile when worshiped and fail to acknowledge other dancers’ strengths.

There is not necessarily anything wrong in studying under The Egotist. In fact, if you love her as much as she loves herself, you may be very content to continue classes with her.

Have you met any of these teachers, or do you know any types that should be added to the list? Please share in the comments!
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