She-Bop

Countdown to Valentine’s Day

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter (and please do!), you may have learned of my current quest to make the world safe for sexy dancing.

I even wrote a free guide on how to strip and sexy dance.

But with Valentine’s Day coming up, I figured this would be a fun topic to explore. So, for the next few posts leading up to Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be cool to focus on how to make our dancing even sexier.

You know, just in case you want to give your guy a striptease. Or you want to make all the gawkers at the club come in their pants.

Whatever.

So, today, let’s focus on the number one thing required of any sexy dancing …

Masturbation

Yes. Masturbation. Get over it.

Okay, so I call it “touching yourself” in the free guide (go click on it already, for god’s sake), but it’s all just variations on a theme. And, since – as my glorious friend, Sarah, would have me ‘fess up – I’ve been doing it doggie all morning and have a splitting headache from the angle, I’m not in the mood to sugar coat it.

So, as I said, masturbation.

Now I can’t really speak for all sexual orientations, but I will state categorically that nothing gets a straight guy hard faster than watching the female of the species getting herself off.

The way we moan, the way we move our hips, our sexy facial expressions – the whole package is just one heterosexual lollapalooza wrapped up in ribbon. They love it.

Which is why, if you’re dancing for a straight guy, you should touch yourself.

Yes, you should.

I mean it. Really. You should.

How far is too far?

That is the question. Am I saying you should actually kick your legs up in the air and have one earth-shaking orgasm, or am I saying you should just gently glide your hands along your thighs and be done with it?

So, for the record, I’m saying both.

If you’re out in public, there’s only so much you can do without getting arrested. In private, though, it’s a whole other matter.

Which leaves the choice up to you.

BUT … you were waiting for that, weren’t you? … even if you choose not to masturbate, you still need to seem to be masturbating.

Wait – did I just hear Jennifer tell me to fake it?

Aw, fuckin’ A – kind of.

Now, please realize I’m not saying you should fake sexual pleasure to benefit someone else’s ego. Nor am I saying you should deny yourself true sexual pleasure and just suck it up and fake it throughout your entire life.

All I’m saying is that WHEN YOU WANT YOUR DANCING TO SEEM REALLY, REALLY SEXY you are going to have to touch yourself. Whether you really get off on it or not – or, perhaps, whether you really get FULLY off on it or not, you are going to have to do it.

Which is to say you are going to have to touch your body and look like it feels good. Obviously, this is going to be easier if, when you touch yourself, it ACTUALLY FEELS GOOD.

Read into that what you will, but even short of full-on, go-for-the-gusto, masturbation, touching yourself should feel good. And feeling your body move while you dance should also feel good, so this should not be hard to pull off.

Giving it a go

Think of the hottest guy you’ve ever seen or imagined. Think of him touching you, then touch yourself exactly like that, and keep thinking about him while you’re doing it. Places to touch: your neck, your inner thigh, your lips, your ankles. This is a sexy flourish you can add to any dance move.

Like, say, when you …

Lean your shoulders against a wall. Then, run your hands slowly all over your body. Repeat, SLOWLY. Let your hips start to circle. (Hint: this would be a really good moment to touch your thighs.)

Or try this …

Sit your lucky fella in a chair and straddle him. Do slow, grinding hip circles while letting your hands run over your breasts and mouth and back down to your hips.

And don’t forget to …

Look like you’re enjoying it. Really, if you’re not enjoying it, why are you dancing for the guy in the first place? I realize you might be nervous or self-conscious, but try to let yourself get into it.

Remember: it’s your passion and desire that make you – and your dancing – so sexy.

Same bat time, same bat channel

In the next few weeks, we’ll go into more ways to sexify your dancing. But, in the meantime, give yourself a head start by checking out the free guide to sexy dancing.

And – SHAMELESS BEGGING ALERT – if you like the guide, it would help me out a ton if you could forward it and tweet it and whatnot. Join me in my fight to make the world safe for sexy dancing.

After all, wouldn’t that be a world you’d like to live in? ;)

P.S. Don’t forget the giveaway!

Just a quick reminder that I’m giving away three one-hour coaching sessions on stage presence for pole dancers. All you have to do is email in your questions by January 31, 2010. The three winners will be drawn from those emails; no purchase is necessary.

***
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5 Responses to She-Bop

  1. [...] the final post in the Countdown to Valentine’s Day series. So far, we’ve talked about the nuances of masturbation in sexy dancing, the use of the tease, and the rules and ramifications of successful hair [...]

  2. [...] your skin. The key here is to enjoy touching your hair – because that’s a lot like touching yourself, which works so well in sexy [...]

  3. [...] Last week, we embarked on a quest for more sexy dancing by Valentine’s Day, kicking it off with a post in which I tell you to fake it and bemoan my post-coital headache. [...]

  4. PoleSkivvies says:

    @Joel – I love that you visit this site! You should always be saying what you think. :) Speaking of which, when am I going to get an interview out of you????

  5. Ok, I am going out on a limb here–commenting on this blog, LOL! But as a straight guy who has never made any secret of his two-fold appreciation of pole dance for both ATHLETIC SPORT…and Erotic Dance–can I tell you what my favorite part of any pole performance is? It is the “Walk to the Wall”..or a wall dance. It has to be done a certain way…slow..and with a half turn and look backwards towards the “prey” as you walk away from him. You have to be projecting the idea..”follow me…there is more here than meets the eye.” But it is a tease also…you turn away and dismiss him. Done right, it just KILLS ME!!! A slow wall dance with slow hip waves is a great follow-up…and then a walk back to the pole. There is one other move I really like–it’s the slow walk TO the pole in the intro. Then you have to look the pole up and down..as if evaluating an opponent. It’s almost like a street fighting move done VERY slowly.

    So anyway, I hope nobody takes these thoughts the wrong way. I get just as excited about those gymnmastic powerhouse videos as the sexy ones…and heaven knows my poling is not exactly “Erotic”!! But for those who are interested, those are my personal thoughts.

    –Joel

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