Me as Pole Dance Blogger

I’ve been blogging for most of a year now, and I’ve gone through a lot of stages with it. From finding topics to finding my voice to, now, finding my truth.

So far, that’s the hardest. Because it’s so illusory. I felt from the beginning that I wanted to write from the heart on this blog. I thought, for awhile, that the hardest part about doing that would come from the fact that my blog is part of my business. I worried that I’d have to hide my feelings in deference to my desire to make sales.

But that really hasn’t been the case. In fact, it’s more the opposite – whenever I write a post so personal that it scares me to upload it, I have learned those are usually your favorites. So I guess I am blessed with very forgiving, supportive readers.

So, What’s the Issue?

The problem, then, isn’t about my business keeping me from saying things. It’s more about the role having this blog has given me within the pole community. At first, no one had ever heard of me, but now thousands of pole dancers read my posts, which is something that is still sinking in. I mean, I know from my site stats that my audience has been growing, but it still feels surprising to see how big the audience has gotten.

And therein lies the quandary about honesty in this blog. What might be just some random person blowing off steam about an annoying pole dance incident becomes something quite different when thousands of people within the pole dance community are reading it. That readership lends it power, which is something I am learning how to navigate, and which I am careful to respect.

And, yes, the business does seep into it a bit. For instance, you may have noticed I have strong opinions about stripping and pole dance. These are not always popular opinions – not with pole fitness types and not with exotic dance types. So sometimes I struggle with writing them – how do I not get rejected by this community I so enjoy, yet still remain honest? And how do I do both of those things while still growing this business? Offending people does not tend to increase sales.

How I’ve Learned to Navigate This

What I’ve tried to do, then, is to write from my heart and warn you of posts that might piss you off. Ergo, my invitations from time to time to unsubscribe before reading any further.

The other thing I do is take an annoying situation that I have experienced personally and, rather than publicize it – which, I think, can backfire in unpleasant ways and may be just generally unfair – I write about it as a concept. For instance, in trying to deal with my own experience with bad pole instruction, I wrote a post on pole teachers to avoid, which talked about types of teachers and how to tell if you should find a new one.

I guess what I’m saying here is that I try very hard to be honest with you, but that the concept of honesty means something different now that my readership is larger. Being too (so-called) honest can really mean being unfair and getting in a flame war. I don’t want to do that, and I don’t think it serves any purpose. I also try to remind myself that, while I do think it’s okay for me to talk about my own experiences in pole and the pole community – both good and bad – my experience does not represent everybody’s experience.

So the best I can do is provide information, which is what I try to do. About finding a good teacher, about the issues at hand with pole dancing, about the myriad of things we talk about on this site.

Interviews

Which brings me to the interviews. I love reading the interviews I post on this site. I still remember when the idea of doing them occurred to me, and how fun it’s been to get to know so many of the amazing pole dancers out there.

But, again, as my readership has grown, I have come to see that what has always been, to me, just a fun way to learn other pole dancers’ stories, is taking on the weight of a recommendation to my readers.

And that makes me nervous.

While I love the people I interview and think my readers should definitely check them out, I would never go so far as to personally recommend any instructor I don’t know well. And, obviously, I can’t possibly know personally everyone I interview, let alone have studied with all of them. Knowing someone from Facebook and the forums is just not the same as taking classes from someone.

Which is why, much as I am thrilled with these wonderful dancers who have been interviewed on my site, I do not see the interviews as a recommendation. That is why I post so much about how to tell if your teacher is competent and what to look for when choosing an instructor.

I hope that my interviewees understand that, rather than giving a blanket recommendation to everyone I interview, I instead make a point of educating pole dancers on how to find a safe instructor. I trust they will respect me for that, just as I trust that any instructor worth studying with would prefer an educated student who wants a high level of instruction over one who can’t tell the difference.

What it comes down to

In the end, I guess I just wanted to have a chat with you all and let you know how I’m responding to the new role this blog seems to have given me. I want to continue being able to share my thoughts, but I also want all of you to understand that part of any relationship – even that between blogger and reader – requires some work.

And, on your part, that work is to learn enough about pole to take care of yourself, and not take a blind recommendation from anyone.

Not even me.

How do you all navigate the social media waters of pole dancing?