In the first part of this (two-part) series, I went over the HOW of communicating with your pole dance teacher.

Today, it’s all about the WHAT of communication, which means the things that tend to come up once you’ve established a good relationship with your instructor.

Recitals

Lots of studios have a class recital at the end of a session. Others do a seasonal or yearly studio showcase. Either way, few things are as nerve-wracking to a student as an upcoming performance. Bell curves aside, students tend to fall into one of two categories: either they are terrified of being in a recital and don’t want to do it, or they are natural performers who secretly dream of being the star of the show.

If you’re uncomfortable being in the recital
This really depends on whether you are willing to participate, or whether you don’t want to do it at all. If the latter, that’s fine, but this may help you change your mind.

If the former, take some time before or after class to voice your concerns. Maybe some things make you more uncomfortable than others, so let your teacher know. For instance, maybe you are okay dancing as part of a group, but you don’t want to be the only one poling at any point in the dance. Or, maybe you are comparing yourself too much to your classmates and need some reassurance that you are a wonderful dancer in your own right.

Whatever the situation, be honest with your teacher and let her know as early as possible. That way she can choreograph the routine to best meet everyone’s needs.

If you’re dying to be center stage
This is tricky, but more for the teacher than for the student. Let’s face it, being the focal point of a show is a responsibility – maybe you’re ready for it, maybe you aren’t. Maybe you realize that, maybe you don’t.

So, the thing for you to do is to ask. Tell your teacher what you’d love to do – be the main solo act, or do a dazzling drop in the finale – but be prepared to be told no. And feel free to ask why not – maybe she doesn’t like to emphasize any individual at all in her group choreographies. Maybe she worked out a very balanced routine and doesn’t want to mess with it. And maybe you’re just not ready.

For the teacher, warmth and tact are the best responses. If a student isn’t ready for the challenge, tell her so, but let her know how much progress you’ve already seen in her and that you know she’ll be there one day. If the student is ready, but you already gave that role to someone else, tell her so honestly, and let her know you’ll keep her in mind for the next one. You might even consider revamping your choreography, if possible, to let your student strut her stuff.

Health Conditions

Health conditions should always be mentioned to your instructor. If you have an injury or illness that could make poling difficult, she needs to know so she can give you the help you need and keep you safe. Chronic conditions like arthritis, multiple sclerosis, back problems, and so forth should all be mentioned when you sign up for class.

New or temporary conditions may also need to be mentioned.

If you’ve been out with a bad flu, it might affect your strength when you return, which is good to let her know about. Certainly pregnancy is something that needs to be mentioned early on, since your changing shape, stretching ligaments, and altered center of gravity all dictate the need for a shift to grounded moves and dancing.

Emotional Issues

Physical movement of any kind will stir up emotions, but there’s nothing like sexy pole dancing to trigger underlying issues relating to body image and sexuality, and discussing these issues with your instructor – even one you really like – can be very difficult.

Body image.
If you are embarrassed to be in shorts or have your tummy bare, don’t push yourself to dress in ways you aren’t yet comfortable. If you can let your teacher know of your fears, you may find a lot of students feel the exact same way, which can help you feel more at ease.

Shyness about dancing suggestively.
If you are cool about pole tricks but shy about dancing suggestively in front of your classmates, only do what feels right. There’s nothing wrong with learning all you can about the moves in class, and then rocking out only in the privacy of your home.

Post-traumatic stress.
More important, if you’ve been raped or sexually abused, you may find dancing triggers you deeply and that you may need to step out of the class at times. Be gentle with yourself – physical movement will bring up emotional pain that needs to be released; give yourself the permission to clear it out as you need to. If you can, let your teacher know what you’re dealing with. You may even find your classmates are dealing with similar issues.

Safety Concerns

There are lots of safety issues when it comes to pole. Aside from the obvious ones like falling, there are also subtler ones like shoulder positioning. What you want is a teacher that talks about all these concerns and gives you tools to address them.

Your teacher should talk about posture a lot. When moving on to inverting, she should begin on the ground and continuously reinforce emergency exits as you progress.

If your teacher fails to mention these things, then it’s time to get a new teacher.

More likely, though, you will find that your teacher does address these issues, but that you have questions.

This is not the time to be shy. SPEAK UP. Safety is of number one importance in pole and if you are unsure, do not brazen through it. The odds are a bazillion to one that if you didn’t understand something, your classmates didn’t either. So, do all of you a favor and ask your teacher to clarify.

When It’s Time to Move On

If you have tried your best and you still don’t feel as comfortable as you’d like in your pole dance class, take a teaser class somewhere else and see what you think. Or try a class at your regular school, but one that is taught by a different teacher – see if that makes the difference.

Not every teacher is a good match for every student. Keep searching until you find the one that is right for you.