Ms. North Pole – Santa’s Favorite Pole Dancer
This is a reprint of one of my favorite interviews.
In honor of the holiday season, I would like to introduce you to my favorite pole dancer of all time – Ms. North Pole, Santa’s favorite pole dancer.
How did you get to be the preferred entertainer of the Arctic?
I had heard of pole dancing and had certainly seen poles listed on many a dancer’s wish list, but there hadn’t been any pole dancers up in the North Pole – not until me. As a girl, I’d always preferred pine trees with really long, branchless trunks to climb and dance around. When I got older, Santa saw me dance and invited me to be part of the Christmas pageant.
What are Santa and Mrs. Claus really like?
Santa’s a sweetheart – he just wants everyone to be having a lot of fun. And if he ever thinks someone isn’t happy, he knows just the thing to say to get them smiilng. And Mrs. Claus is a total riot. I tell you, get some eggnog into that girl and she just goes nuts! I’ve had to pry her off the pole on numerous occasions.
Do you dance throughout the year, or only in the holiday season?
Throughout the year, of course! Sure, I give my biggest performances in December, but we need pole dancing all year round. It’s a lot of work up here making toys and there’s nothing the elves and reindeer like more than to kick back and watch a show.
What are your favorite pieces of music to dance to?
Frankly, I could do with a few less Christmas carols. Occasionally, I put on some Chanukah songs to mix it up, but everyone always wants the carols. Well, Adam Sandler’s Chanukah Song is a crowd pleaser, too. If I had my druthers, though, it’d be Lady Gaga.
Favorite makeup tip:
That’s easy – lots of rosy blush in the apples of the cheeks! It’s easy to look pale in the Arctic, so I do what I can.
What is your trick to putting emotional expression into your dancing?
Christmas cheer, of course!
Barefoot, sneakers, or platform heels?
White, vinyl, platform knee-high boots – with red and green striped, thigh-hi socks. Fantastic!
Favorite grip enhancer:
Reindeer breath. Honest to god, just let them exhale a bit on your hands and you’ll be ready to pole!
Pole dance move that made you proudest to learn:
The Blitzen. Yowzah.
Pole dance pet peeves:
We had a problem with some rabble-rousing elves a few years back. Kept gyrating and grinding on the pole all night – had to be forced off the stage so I could perform. Grr. It’s just so ridiculous. I mean, first learn to pole, girls, and then we can share the stage.
Favorite treatment for bruises and sore muscles:
A nice warm bath and a massage. Prancer’s wife gives the BEST shoulder rubs.
Who would you most like to have in the audience when you pole dance?
The Clauses, of course!
Who is your hero or role model?
Mrs. Claus. Lord, if I could work the pole like her, that’d really be something.
What are your favorite words of encouragement?
You go, girl – you own the Arctic!
Favorite pizza toppings:
Mashed potatoes, gravy, and peas. Always. On anything.
Cupcakes or ice cream?
Cupcakes, hands down. Honestly, it’s cold enough up here.
What do you like to do when you’re not pole dancing?
When would that be? No, seriously, I love going any place I can roller skate. Not ice skate, mind you, ROLLER skate. My sister and I are total derby girls!