Meet Claire Sterrett, who writes a great pole dance blog, The Pole Story!
How did you get started learning to pole dance?
I was working at a massage and wellness center as a massage therapist and a woman named Tara Moore from Simply Seductress came to do a 1 hour intro class. I was kind of curious and I think I was also required to go. She had us do this exercise where we lay on our mats with our eyes closed, moving and touching ourselves and dancing while she played music. She also asked us to talk a lot about what we were feeling in our bodies and really made us connect with the emotional part of our dancing. It was unlike any class I had ever taken before and I was instantly hooked! I was horrible at the pole. But for some reason I wanted to master the whole thing: the polework, the floorwork, the emotionality of the dance. I took classes with her for a year, until she moved away. Now I’m a student at S Factor.
You have a blog in which you frequently discuss issues of sexuality and pole dance. What role do you feel pole dancing plays for most of the women learning it?
I think there are two major roles pole dancing plays for the women learning it. One is that it is an excellent and fun way to get fit and strong. But aside from the fitness aspect, I think many women choose to learn pole dancing because it puts them in touch with their bodies and their sexuality. Sexuality is something that is primarily experienced in the body. Dance is an excellent vehicle for exploring sensations in the body. So in pole dancing classes, a space is being created for women to safely explore, nurture and display their sexual selves. And I think there are a lot of women out there who are pretty excited about that.
How do you view society’s reaction to pole?
Hmmm. That’s a big question! The mainstreaming of pole dancing is certainly bringing out deeply entrenched biases and prejudices that are embedded in the fabric of our society with regards to women and their sexuality. With pole becoming so “public,” people are being forced to confront their opinions and emotions about these topics. When someone says to a pole dancer, “Why would you want to pole dance? It’s (insert your favorite negative description of pole dancing here),” I think a lot of what is happening is not just miscommunication, but a clash between different belief systems that are centered around a very emotionally charged and traditionally taboo subject: sex.
I think our culture is so used to labeling women who choose to display, or play with, or openly take pleasure in their sexuality as “whores” that we don’t know what to do when someone who doesn’t fit that stereotype participates in that type of behavior. And that is a really wonderful thing. Because it has the potential to force people to revisit their biases or perceptions around what it means to display your sexuality as a woman and what “kinds” of women do that. That is one reason why I get so irritated when I see women who participate in any form of erotic dance judge or separate themselves from other women in that same arena.
It is my deep and heartfelt wish that, as pole dancers, we can shift the way society chooses to view women’s sexuality. It is my hope that a certain respect and admiration for the beautiful, erotic art form of pole dancing will grow and that rather than label a woman who dances seductively as a whore, she will be honored for choosing to share with the world the gift of her sexuality and her beauty. In order for that to happen, though, we have to support one another and understand that while there may be differences in our work, we share a common thread.
What do you like to do when you’re not pole dancing?
I’m kind of a nerd. I like to read a lot. And cook and bake. I absolutely love entertaining people at my home – making delicious food, filling the house with flowers – creating an environment where people can relax and experience the pleasure of beauty and good company. And of course, when I’m not pole dancing, I love to write about pole dancing on my blog, The Pole Story!
Favorite makeup tip:
Well this is more of a product than a tip, but I love Benetint cheek stain from Benefit for a little splash of color on my cheeks. It stays on no matter what and it looks so natural. And it smells like roses. AND you can use it on your lips, too. I think I’ve been using it for about ten years.
Barefoot, sneakers, or platform heels?
Barefoot!
Favorite grip enhancer:
Dry Hands. But I’m constantly wiping down the pole. I used to wear leather weightlifting gloves.
Pole dance move that made you proudest to learn:
The Hook! I just learned it and I thought it was going to be super hard, but I actually got it right away! And pulling up onto the pole afterwards makes me feel so sexy and strong. Purrrr.
Pole dance pet peeves:
The lack of floorwork being taught in many of the studios. It makes me want to cry. It’s such a beautiful part of the dance! What else? Strippers vs. Pole Dancers. Yes, what each of us does is a little different, but let’s stand together, please.
Favorite treatment for bruises and sore muscles:
Arnica for bruises. Hot pad with moisture for sore muscles along with Soma cream. Massage.
Who would you most like to have in the audience when you pole dance?
All my high school classmates! I went to an all-girls school. I would love to dance for them.
Who is your hero or role model?
My boyfriend is my hero. My role model? I don’t think I have just one. I admire Pema Chodron for her compassion and equanimity. I admire Mother Theresa for her selfless dedication to being of service to others. I admire George Sand for her fiery, opinionated passion and her willingness to push boundaries.
What are your favorite words of encouragement?
Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.
Favorite pizza toppings:
I think, when it comes to pizza, pretty much anything goes. Except for anchovies or any kind of pepper.
Cupcakes or ice cream?
Cupcakes. Frosting and fingers … yum.
Anything else you’d like to share:
Just that I’m very grateful for this interview and excited to see how pole dancing continues to develop!
If you like reading about pole dancing (and I’m guessing you do!), be sure to check out Claire’s pole dance blog, The Pole Story!
If you ever spend time on StudioVeena or Facebook, you’ve probably met the totally vivacious Sissybuns.
Well, I had lost touch with her a bit, since I don’t have as much time as I used to for those Friday night pole chats, so it was a total stroke of luck when I found her on Facebook this past week.
It was one of those, “OMG!!! SISSYBUNS!!! I MISSED YOU!!” moments, with her being all, “SKIVSTER!!!”
You know, typical online joy at reconnection.
A Little Experiment
But then we got to chatting, which, as you can imagine, was all about pole, and, as it turned out, Sissybuns was getting ready to perform at her very first competition and was busy working on a routine. We talked about doing a coaching session as prep for her performance, and decided to make it into a little experiment.
I thought, wouldn’t it be fun to make it into a blog post – you’d all get to hear how the whole coaching thing works, I’d get the fun of hanging out with Sissybuns and seeing her wonderful dancing, and she’d get some free performance coaching.
So, that’s what we did. We met up on Skype the day before Sissybuns’ performance for the Miss Xpose 2010 Preliminary, and here’s what happened …
Coaching Goals
What was really cool about working with Sissybuns is she had very specific goals to work on. She had a routine already created and the performance was just one day away, so it was a very focused hour.
Sissybuns was doing a very sexy, very sultry dance and wanted to make sure to convey that feeling throughout her entire choreography. The routine included a couple of floorwork sequences and our goal was to smooth out transitioning back to standing. Moreover, Sissybuns had recently had foot surgery, so she needed to make sure her choreography worked around her sore foot and didn’t force her to worry too much about it.
See Sissybuns rehearsing with a her cast on! She is one VERY dedicated pole dancer!
Sissybuns on her goals for the session:
I was concerned with my stage presence as a whole. I had never performed in front of anyone before and had entered into a local pole dance competition (Miss Xpose 2010) where I couldn’t rely on high flying tricks and stunts to “wow” the crowd because the category I competed in didn’t allow any inverts.
Plus, I was still in recovery from a recent surgery I had had on my left foot less then eight weeks ago. My concern with hiding my obvious injury was making me apprehensive in a lot of my dancing.
We got to work
Once Sissybuns had shown me her routine, we dove right in, starting with her entrance. Originally, she had planned to walk to the pole, but, with her injured foot, walking that distance was affecting her ability to be fully focused when she stepped onto the stage.
Instead, we tried versions of starting already at the pole and starting by crawling to the pole. Sissybuns actually did some really hot crawling, but opted against it in the end, since the floor she’d be performing on was hardwood and would only scrape her knees up before she even got to the floorwork sequences.
So, to get the ideas churning, I demo’d a few standing-in-place, sexy moves to see if any of them suited her. Sissybuns tried them out and found ones that she not only liked, but that also allowed her to shift her weight off her foot, if needed.
Floorwork
Next, we moved on to floorwork. Sissybun’s first floorwork sequence was flawless – beautifully choreographed, smoothly transitioned, and gliding easily back up to standing. The second one, though, got a little stuck before coming up from the floor.
To tackle this, we got down on the floor together and she showed me what position she landed in. I tried to see what ways there were to come up out of it. In the end, what seemed to work was leaning away from her bent leg and then saucily kicking her leg up to bring it around the pole. Sissybuns tried it out and was able to incorporate it into her sequence, now making the transition up from the floor seamlessly.
Steaming it Up
Sissybuns is blessed with the best eyes in the world for doing sexy dancing – she has total Cleopatra eyes. And, as would be expected from someone with eyes like that, she can do sultry like nobody’s business! So, for this aspect of her dance, we worked more on the few places where that feeling skipped a beat.
At first, she’d been too worried about her sore foot to stay fully present in the emotion she was trying to convey as she walked onto stage. When we re-worked her choreography to avoid that walking, it helped. But the other part affecting the entrance was that typical, OMG-I’m-about-to-start adrenalin rush that we all get. To counteract that, we worked on slowing down the start, delaying it until she felt really centered, and then letting the dance begin.
The effect was amazing! That sultry intensity was suddenly there, right from the beginning, which heightened the drama of her entrance.
To make sure to maintain that intensity, we then worked on bringing more sex appeal to the moves and transitions elsewhere in her choreography. Sissybuns was an incredibly fast learner, trying different gestures I suggested, changing speed, emphasizing different parts of a move, and getting those final touches in place that really bring a dance together.
What Sissybuns says about the session
I AM SO HAPPY I DID THIS! The session had a huge impact not only on my competition routine, but for all my future dancing and performing.
Jennifer helped me improve by changing a step here, giving more eye contact there and even changing the whole way I began my routine so I started sure, strong and confident. She showed me how to get my inner lioness to shine and portray the feeling that I was hoping my audience would feel while I danced.
She watched me and let me know how the audience would see me as I danced. She didn’t try to change me or alter my style, but only added to it.
Jennifer gave me the keys needed to give a good performance. I will keep the things she taught me in mind for the rest of the time that I dance, and I believe I’ll be a better dancer because of it.
The performance!
There was a video snafu at the competition, but Sissybuns put together this video of the choreography to show you – you’ll love it!
What Sissybuns says about working with Jennifer (gulp)
Jennifer is not a pole dance instructor. She will make that very clear to you. But what she is, is a performer. Somebody who loves the art of pole dance and watches closely to see what works and what doesn’t. She understands the art of seduction and playfulness, which is exactly what I was trying to pull off.
She focuses on the small things. The things you won’t notice on your own, like what that free hand is doing when you do a spin, or your facial expression while you dance. Sometimes we are so caught up in our tricks and spins that we forget about the performance, about the people watching us … and that’s where Jennifer makes the difference.
Thank you, Sissybuns!
Sissybuns brought off her performance with flying colors! She did a beautiful, sexy dance and made her dream of performing pole dance come true.
Thank you, Sissybuns, for doing this coaching post with me! I had so much fun working with you, and I really appreciate your letting me blog about the experience. You rock, you fab pole dancer, you!! I can’t wait to see what you put together for your next competition!
If you’d like some coaching to bring out the best in your next performance, email me to set up a session. For more information, check out the page on private coaching.
Living as I do in the vast, pole dancing wasteland that is Vermont, it is with delirious joy and delight that I say to you that I am going to New York to see the USPDF!
I will be there for both the amateur and pro comps, and I would love to meet up with those of you that are going to be there.
Where shall we meet?
Friday or Saturday are options for me. I’m sure we’d all like to see all the events on Friday, so let’s be sure to work around that. And around the workshop times on Saturday, too, since I bet a lot of you are attending those.
Do you know the area and have some ideas?
If so, please leave them in the comments, or email/message me your suggestions.
Ideally, we’d find a coffee shop or something similar where we could all hang out a bit and chat. It needs to be close to the USPDF events so that we can all get back and forth quickly.
My pole buddies are what keep pole real for me. I have met almost none of you in person and the thought of getting to do so just about turns my head! It will be so fun!
So, send in your ideas and I’ll figure out the best option and post the final meeting time.
You are very involved in the push to get pole dancing in the Olympics. What got you interested in that and what benefits do you hope being in the Olympics will bring to pole dancing?
I am often asked if pole dance/pole dance fitness is an ART or a SPORT. The answer is BOTH! A sport is defined as an athletic activity requiring skill or physical prowess and often of a competitive nature, and art is defined as the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance.
Anyone following our industry, which has exploding numbers of international competitions and showcases, and who has dared to attempt to maneuver on a pole KNOWS the significant athleticism, strength and control required by pole athletes to make their maneuvers appear graceful, seamless and aesthetic. The very nature of this solid vertical apparatus begs for artful body contortions and poses, and adding in music provides a most unique expressive art form. Pole work, without hesitation, is an auspicious display and intertwining of both art and sport.
With that said, we designed our Facebook Petition To Get Pole Dancing in 2012 Olympics to build on work started by our friends in the UK to achieve even greater grassroots support for getting pole dancing/pole fitness recognized as a legitimate athletic sport by the mainstream. The yellow brick road to the Olympics is a very long and winding road for a new sport. Realistically, the soonest pole sports could get into the Olympic summer games is the 2020 Olympics.
The shortest a sport has ever taken to achieve recognition has been six years, and that was more an exception to the rule than the standard. However, mainstream acceptance, working concurrently with developing competitive formats, establishing industry standards (a key charter for the Pole Fitness Association) and establishing a separate international entity to be committed to this drive (we have also established the International Pole Sports Federation) are the key building blocks. We currently have the leading global drive with over 146,000 members!
Once we achieve 250,000 supporters, we will have MAJOR international media attention for our art and sport! So, please post, re-post, and re-post the link again on your website, on your facebook, on twitter and more. The power of social media is IMMENSE and we need to leverage it to reach the mainstream and continue to change perceptions of what our art and sport form is and isn¹t.
Some people fear that getting in the Olympics will require changes that could negatively impact the dance aspects and sexiness of pole dancing. How do you respond to that?
There are so many forms of this amazing art and sport, an entire continuum from more barefoot, explosive, strict gymnastics style looking forms, to sexy, stiletto-wearing, saucy shimmying, and slinky acrobatic forms. Most of us practice both styles, depending on the whens, wheres and whats we are practicing. Both ends of the continuum require control and athleticism, and both require style – they are just delivered differently. And, there are a multitude of forms in-between. Any sport that goes into the Olympics will need to be acceptable by mainstream standards; that’s a fact. But, as we have seen, this art and sport form is beautiful in nearly any manner that it is packaged, from straight and clean to curvy and saucy.
You are co-chair of the Pole Fitness Association. Tell us about it!
The Pole Fitness Association was born to unite and standardize our industry. We have professional management with a clear mission and charter.
Our mission is to represent and lead the pole fitness community worldwide by defining and promoting standards for training, safety, equipment, terminology, and technical specifications to unite and empower pole fitness studio owners, professionals, and enthusiasts everywhere in celebrating the sport of pole fitness as a rigorous, tasteful, and athletic art.
Underlying the mission are four supporting vision statements that define how the Pole Fitness Association will deliver value to the industry:
Be the recognized authority and trusted advisor on pole fitness to studios, professionals, enthusiasts, media, and others globally.
Be a catalyst for the development of all industry-related standards, including terminology, training, certification requirements, progression of training, etc.
Signify to the pole fitness community everywhere that a studio with our certified affiliation means you are qualified to deliver sound value to your customers in all areas of pole fitness, including safety, training, ethics, facilities/equipment specifications, business management.
Galvanize pole fitness studios, professionals, and enthusiasts worldwide to market, network, educate, train safely, and learn from one another to nurture the profession and promote our athletic art.
Membership is inexpensive, the organization is INTERNATIONAL, we are professionally managed, our membership consists of leading pole professionals and enthusiasts worldwide, and we are working on important elements to standardize our industry (terminology, standards defining movements, and more).
Favorite makeup tip:
Eyebrows neatly groomed and filled in, white highlight on the inner eyes and just under the brown, and shiny lip gloss.
Barefoot, sneakers, or platform heels?
Depends on my mood … barefoot, when I want to feel organic and sensual, and heels when I want to be va-va-va-voom and sexy.
Favorite grip enhancer:
Dry Hands.
Pole dance move that made you proudest to learn:
Twisted Grip Handspring before I turned 40.
Pole dance pet peeves:
Not pointing toes, not working with the music, and anything that is not supportive of others.
Favorite treatment for bruises and sore muscles:
Little hands (daughters 6 and 9) rubbing mommy’s back.
Who would you most like to have in the audience when you pole dance?
My students, instructors, mom and daughters…and, of course, boyfriend.
Who is your hero or role model?
So many .. .my oldest student (age 74), my heaviest student, my student who has lived as a stroke survivor since age 19, and always my newest student – I ran my first marathon with a man who was running his 100th race, and he said it was harder to be there for the first time than for the 100th, .and that has always stuck with me. This is an intimidating sport to first start and that’s why it is increasingly important that we continue to build a supportive, friendly community.
What are your favorite words of encouragement?
Pole dancing is for EVERYONE. Regardless of age, shape or size. There are hundreds of movements and the key is picking the right moves for you to keep you challenged, engaged, and injury free.
Favorite pizza toppings:
The Worx!
Cupcakes or ice cream?
Creamy, nutty, chocolatey ice cream … Ben and Jerry’s New York Superfudge Chunk, to be exact!
What do you do when you’re not on the pole?
Play business owner and mom to full tilt! And always laughing!
Anything else you’d like to share:
This sport is a marathon, not a race. Yes, train hard, but take care of your body, be safe, and enjoy this as a lifetime sport.
If so, you are not alone – I’ve gotten a lot of requests this month for information on arm and hand movements!
Remember, even though we pole dancers use our arms more for grasping the pole than for dancing per se, it is still essential that we have graceful arm and hand movements.
You’ll also want to see this tutorial I did last year. It gives additional detail on using your arms and hands – plus teaches you the classic belly dance move, Snake Arms!
Have a topic you’d like to see in one of these tutorials?
Fabulous! All you have to do is email me and I’ll get your topic in the line-up. I post new video tutorials every other Wednesday.
Lately, I find I’m hearing a lot about the problems some pole dancers are having with other dancers stealing and copying their work.
Now, if you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, you know that I generally think it is impossible to copy another pole dancer. I strongly believe that, even if two dancers have the same moves and do the same choreography, each dancer will still have their own individual style. (See How to Avoid Being Copied and Pole Dance Attitude Adjustment.)
But now I’m wondering if I’ve missed something.
Where do we draw the line?
Every artistic community has concerns about stealing and copying. Like, where really is the line between homage and theft? What of all you learned from your teacher is acceptable to incorporate into your own approach to instruction? When does having a similar style cross over into copying?
It got me to thinking about a pledge pole dancers should take, one that underscores what we consider to be community-minded in pole dance.
We all have responsibility.
It’s not just advanced dancers and teachers and studio owners who have a responsibility here. Even newbies have a responsibility that needs to be owned up to – a responsibility to insist on good instruction and safe teaching.
I think it’s time pole dancers took this issue a step further – I think we need to state the expectations and boundaries of our art, which is why I ask you to take this pole dancing oath along with me:
Pole Dance Pledge for Students
I swear to …
Learn as much as possible about quality pole instruction before I find a teacher – and to hold my instructor to those standards. (Find out what those standards should be here, here, here, and here.)
Not go beyond my skill level and to follow my teacher’s instructions.
Acknowledge that pole dancing is complicated – far moreso than a newbie can learn in a year or two, barring an extensive background in gymnastics, aerial arts, ballet, or similar.
Present myself honestly, not claiming more skill or authority than I have earned.
Pole Dance Pledge for Instructors:
I swear to …
Get the very best training in anatomy, physical fitness, aerial movement, and pole dancing possible.
Create my own choreographies and teaching methods.
Get specific, stated permission and give due credit prior to borrowing dances or teaching methods.
Acknowledge my skill level and refer students when necessary to studios that can provide more advanced training.
Comment below to take the pledge!
Be sure to write in what you would add or change to the oaths. Feel free to share the pledge with your students, too – let’s all get a conversation going on originality in performance and safety in instruction!
(When you share the pledge, I’d be very happy if you credited PoleSkivvvies.com. )
Photo by AMC photography - http://www.aaroncota.com
Get ready to meet Amber Richard, 2009 USPDF West Coast Champion!
How did you get started taking pole dancing lessons?
I stumbled upon pole dancing completely by accident in March of 2008. I was a dance major in college and, one day, I was randomly looking up dance videos on youtube when Felix Cane’s Miss Pole Dance Australia 2006 video popped up. I clicked on it out of pure curiosity! I have never been to a strip club and had never seen pole dancing before so I didn’t have any preconceptions going in.
What I saw was a work of art, a gorgeous acrobatic dance, and I thought, “Wow! I want to try THAT!”
I immediately looked up a studio in my area and was hooked after my first lesson at OC Pole Fitness. I graduated from UCI and moved back home shortly thereafter and found my current studio, Poletential. I learned the basics from the instructors at both studios but am self-taught in all of the advanced moves.
I am a total YouTube fanatic and spend hours looking at videos and dissecting the movements so I can try them myself!
How did you make the leap to teaching at a studio and offering pole dancing classes? What was that like?
As a dancer, I am very used to breaking movement down into simple steps and figuring out the mechanics of a move. This enabled me to take to pole quite naturally and I was asked about the possibility of training to be an instructor after my second class! I had already been teaching other dance types for years (ballet, jazz, modern, etc.) so teaching was a natural progression for me.
What is the first thing you teach students just starting to take pole?
The first thing I teach students is how to engage their shoulder and back muscles to keep their shoulders down. Proper body mechanics are an absolute must; I don’t want anyone getting injured!
Photo by Al Satterwhite.
How do you take care of yourself, given all the pole you do?
I always take the time to do a full warm-up and I stretch after class. I try not to pole two days in a row in order to give my muscles and joints time to recover. I love taking a hot bath after a tough workout; it does wonders! Ice is your friend, if you have any kind of inflammation. I also do rotator cuff strengthening exercises daily.
See this great video of Amber on the pole!
If you’ve never seen Amber pole before, you’re in for a treat – click here to see! And, yes, those are PoleSkivvies she’s wearing – in a lovely azure blue. (Thank you, Amber!)
Favorite makeup tip:
All you need is mascara, eyeliner, and blush to look fabulous! Blush is underrated, but it really brightens up your face and adds definition.
Barefoot, sneakers, or platform heels?
Barefoot when I want to dance freely and try new moves, heels when I want to feel sexy!
Favorite grip enhancer:
I don’t use grip aids, just rubbing alcohol. I do have a sample of Butterfly Balm that is amazing though!
Pole dance move that made you proudest to learn:
That’s a tough one! I struggled with the cartwheel mount for ages, so I think that one wins. I was also really proud when I got my first shoulder mount because I was overcoming a mental block. The jade split was another I fought with for a while!
Photo by AMC photography - http://www.aaroncota.com
Pole dance pet peeves:
Unsafe or inadequate spotting technique. If someone asks you to spot them, take your shoes off and support them at the hip level where most of the weight is concentrated!
Favorite treatment for bruises and sore muscles:
A hot bath with some Epsom salts is really wonderful for sore muscles. I don’t have any treatments for bruises though; I just wear them with pride until my skin toughens up!
Who would you most like to have in the audience when you pole dance?
Jenyne Butterfly, because she always has great constructive criticism! All other pole enthusiasts are welcome, too!
Who is your hero or role model?
In the pole dance world, I would have to say that Felix Cane and Jenyne Butterfly are my idols, though there are many other dancers I also admire. My parents are wonderful role models in “real life.”
What are your favorite words of encouragement?
I always tell my students: you can do the [insert pole move here], you just haven’t done it YET! It’s only a matter of time before you conquer it!
Favorite pizza toppings:
Everything! Pepperoni, cheese, and roasted vegetables, yum!
Photo by Sam Lovelace.
Cupcakes or ice cream?
Kara’s cupcakes in San Francisco, hands down!
What do you like to do when you’re not pole dancing?
I like to read. I spend way too much time at my computer researching pole-related information. I like to cuddle with my cats and spend time with my family. I’m a total nerd and spend a lot of time studying, too! I look forward to starting graduate school and becoming a Doctor of Physical Therapy. My plan is to develop an injury prevention program designed specifically for pole dancers. (Wa-hoo, Amber!!)
Anything else you’d like to share:
There are so many people who have helped me on this journey. I want to thank my family and friends for being so supportive of me. I want to thank the Poletential team for believing in me and helping me in every way, especially Ellen for all the feedback she gave me prior to the USPDF competition.
I want to thank Karol Helms for commenting on every video I ever posted and giving me feedback to help me improve. I want to thank the Studio Veena team and community for all their encouragement and support. I want to thank Jenyne Butterfly for inspiring me to be the best I can be.
I am happy to have met so many positive people who are willing to help each other achieve their goals and I look forward to more collaboration with many talented individuals in this growing industry. We are all unique, with our own personal strengths, and I respect every dancer out there! I hope to see many of you in New York City on March 19th, 2010 for the U.S. Pole Dance Federation National Championship, it’s going to be an amazing show!
If you want to take classes from Amber, sign up at Poletential! And be sure to check out her latest vids on Youtube!
Today, though, we bring it all together. Today, you learn what really makes a dance sexy – and it’s not what you think.
It’s not a perfect body. It’s not a gorgeous face. It’s not perfect clothing or a gymnast’s flexibility.
Nope. None of that is what you need to make your dancing hot.
The Secret Ingredient
The one thing and one thing only that makes dancing sexy is you. Not just you being there, but you being fully present in your body, and delighting in the thrill of your own sexiness.
When you can put yourself into your dance – your heart, your soul, your passion – you will instantly make your dancing one hundred percent sexier.
Why does this work?
Most of what we are taught to think of as sexy, is really just an imitation of a woman being sexually aroused. So, if you are dancing in a way that actually connects you to your real feelings of sexual desire, you are automatically hotter than anything else out there – just by merit of the fact that you are being authentic.
Real desire, real arousal are sexier than any photoshopped thing out there.
So remember, ladies, you are the secret ingredient – and don’t ever let yourself forget it.
Own your sexiness
Sexual allure begins with enjoying your own beauty. So, before you dance, always take a moment to remind yourself of all the things that are sexy about you.
Maybe your smile would rival Marilyn Monroe’s. Maybe you have incredible ankles. Maybe you have voluptuous hips or a twinkle in your eye that makes men line up at your door.
Whatever you love about you, whatever your special someone loves about you, find it. Think about it. Delight in it.
Every woman is sexy and every woman has her own unique allure. The trick is to find that in yourself and let yourself believe it.
Give into your desire
Dancing is movement, it’s motion. So the next step is getting that mental awareness of your own sexiness to flow into your body.
Let yourself start to move within your feelings of sexiness.
Let your hips sway and rock, let your body move in a way that gives you pleasure. The more you enjoy the movement, the more enjoyable the movement will be to watch.
Remember when we talked about touching yourself when you dance? (Here’s that link again, if you need it.) Well, that’s really what we’re talking about here. Touching yourself is hot because it looks like you’re getting in the mood. So just imagine how much hotter it will be if you actually are getting in the mood.
So feel the pleasure of your body. Feel the deliciousness of your flesh. That’s the source of all sexuality – and that’s where you will find the heat for your sexiest, most tantalizing dance yet.
Valentine’s Day 911
With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, I know a lot of you are going to be planning a sexy dance for your own special someone.
For some of you, it’s going to be the first time you’ve ever planned something like this, and you are going to find you have some questions.
Like, you can only think of two sexy moves – how do you make them last throughout an entire song?
Or, you’re super shy – how do you make that work for you?
So, for all of you having last-minute freak-outs about your Valentine dance, here’s a special deal just for you:
20 minutes of emergency dance assistance – for only $12.
Really. Ask me every question on sexy dancing you can squeeze into 20 minutes.
Need help coming up with costume ideas? No problem.
Want tips on how to sexify your moves? Bring it on!
Whatever your question is, it’s just $12.
Sign up while you can – offer ends Friday, February 12, 2010. After all, I have my own Valentine’s dance to plan!
Click here to guarantee your slot!
And have a VERY happy, sexy, and wonderful Valentine’s Day!
You’ve got some snazzy moves going, you’re getting a little confidence in your dancing, but you have no idea what you should be doing with your face. Sometimes, you’re thinking so hard you look like you’re scowling. Other times, your smile freezes on your face like an icicle.
What can you do to get prettier facial expressions?
So glad you asked! Here are some ideas:
Have a question you’d like answered on Ask Jennifer?
Fabulous! I post video tutorials every other Wednesday. If you want your question featured, email me and I’ll get it in the line-up!
Just two more weeks until Valentine’s Day, so I’m sticking with my series on making the world safe for sexy dancing.
This week, it’s all about the hair.
Hair has always been considered super sexy – just look at the Goddess of Love’s gorgeous hair in these masterpieces – Botticelli’s Birth of Venus, and (my personal favorite; be sure to click to enlarge) Bouguereau’s The Birth of Venus.
Hair is the seductive accessory we always have with us – and who among us hasn’t used a well-timed hair flip to get some hottie’s attention?
Still, just because we know hair is sexy doesn’t mean we know how to make use of it when we’re dancing.
Use This Power Only for Good
A hair flip, like any sexy use of hair, casts a very potent spell. When used correctly, few things are as sensually inviting. On the other hand, there are few things as annoying as watching someone overuse the hair flip in an effort to capture her beau’s attention.
So, what exactly are the do’s and don’ts? After all, you want your hair to be enticing, not … I can’t resist the pun … flippant. (Forgive me!)
The Do’s of Hair Flipping
DO emphasize the sensuality of your hair. Play with your curls. Let your straight locks brush against your skin. The key here is to enjoy touching your hair – because that’s a lot like touching yourself, which works so well in sexy dancing.
DO lift your hair up and let it fall gently down again. Make it even sexier by gently moving your head back and forth as your hair tumbles down. This gives the impression of sensual reveling in the silky delights of your hair.
DO let your hair fall like a veil over your face and sexily flip it back. This maneuver is all about the tease. Do it while bending over, do it while sitting with your legs saucily crossed, do it whenever you want to add an extra dash of mystery to your dancing.
The Don’ts of Hair Flipping
DON’T confuse constant hair flipping with dancing. A little hair flipping goes a long way; don’t overdo it. Think of it as an accent step, rather than as a primary dance move.
DON’T shake your hair with the beat. You are not at a jam session (well, probably you aren’t). The idea is to show off the sensuality of your hair, not to demonstrate your ability to rock out with a righteous head bob.
DON’T spray your hair until it looks like a helmet. Nothing kills sensuality faster than plasticene hair. If your hair looks like it could survive a night in a wind tunnel, there’s no way to dance with it. Instead, go for a softer look emphasizing movement and texture.
Have short hair? Or just want more ideas?
You’re in luck! You’ll find lots of tips for sexy dancing with short hair (even things that will work with a crew cut) in Get Your Sexy On, a free guide to sexy dancing. Plus more ideas for long hair and all sorts of other tips to make your dancing smoking hot!
And, if you want a little more assistance than you can get in a PDF, set up a How to Strip class with me and we’ll get you all set up for Valentine’s Day!
