Sensuality, Sexuality, and Stuck Up Pole Dancers

A Pet Peeve of Mine

It has driven me crazy for years whenever I hear belly dancers insisting that their dance style is sensual, but not sexual.

“Oh,” they say, in voices dripping with honey, “belly dance is a very sensual dance. It’s not sexual at all,” they then add in a scolding tone, implying to all within earshot that they are a true feminist icon, while I obviously see women as mindless chattel good for only one thing.

And now I’m finding the same thing in the pole dance community.

Ah, the stench of self-righteousness

The thing that drives me nuts about this is the smugness. The sense that they are not only better dancers, but better people. Better women. And all because there is no sexuality in their dancing. Just none. They are so pure, you see. The rest of us may be content to prance around like a bunch of unfeminist whores, but they are delicate little flowers.*

Why is sexuality in dance a bad thing?

If you take the sexuality out of dance, you wind up with something about as thrilling to watch as Lawrence Welk.** Cute and peppy it may be, but in no way does it resemble what your average pole dancer is trying to achieve.

This virgin/whore split is absolutely destructive to creativity. You can’t be a good dancer if you look like a passionless drone, so why would any dancer want to buy into this mentality?

Sexuality and Pole Dance

Historically, a lot of dance styles have made their way from the lower classes to the higher classes, gaining acceptability to the middle classes along the way. Tango is the classic example of this – a bawdy, working-class dance that was too risque to be indulged in in good company. Bit by bit, of course, it gained acceptability, and now Latin Dance competitions featuring tango are considered highly cultured.

Given pole dancing’s association with strip clubs, it’s no surprise it’s frowned on as being too sexual. The problem, of course, is that it’s also too fun – which means even the smugly politically-correct want to give it a try. They just have to separate themselves from the Great Unwashed by insisting that when they do it, there’s no sexuality in it at all.

What it all boils down to

The real issue is not whether the dance is sexual or sensual. The issue is whether the dance is good. And good dancing requires dancers to feel into every cell of their bodies, to be fully present with each movement and gesture, and to lure the audience into their world. There is no way this can be done without a physical consciousness and emotional awareness that cannot be separated from either sensuality or sexuality.

To immerse yourself in your creativity, to drench yourself in the passion of your expression is to be sexual. If you connect with your body and express the pleasure of movement when you dance, there will be sexuality in your dance style.

Nobody has a problem with this when it’s Bob Fosse’s Chicago being staged on Broadway.

But start talking about this in connection with pole dancing, and all hell breaks loose.



*What exactly do we mean by the terms “sensuality” and “sexuality,” anyway? There’s not a heck of a lot of difference – just look up sensuality in the dictionary. Of course, perhaps they mean to say sensuous instead of sensual, but I find it hard to believe anyone is that clear on the distinction. (I sure wasn’t.)

**Now, personally, I find the old Lawrence Welk show absolutely fascinating. I mean, how can musicians and dancers be so absolutely sexless? Perfect steps, perfect turns, but no zing at all. I just don’t buy it – I figure they were all engaging in wild bondage and whipping orgies the minute they were through taping. But maybe that’s just me.

If you liked this article, you’ll also want to read Strippers and Pole Dancing.

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15th June, 2009 - Posted by PoleSkivvies - 13 Comments
Filed under: Jennifer's Rants

Strippers and Pole Dancing

Isn’t pole dancing like, um, STRIPPING?

We’ve all heard it, we all know that view is out there. Yet we all pussyfoot around the issue because, hey, we do POLE FITNESS. We do VERTICAL DANCE.

You know what I say to that? Bullshit.*

We pole. We spend as much of our free time as humanly possible on a pole. And, ladies,**
we all know that everybody’s first impression is that it’s a stripper pole. Heck, Lil Mynx calls it a stripper pole, for Christ’s sake – it’s their fucking URL.

So why all this us/them, good girl/bad girl, virgin/whore bullshit?

Let me ask you this: how many of you learned how to pole from working the clubs?

And, of the rest of you, how many of you learned to pole FROM someone who used to work at the clubs?

My take on it is, pole is not very far removed from strippers. And when you see how many schools teach the “stripper walk,” or lap dance classes, or sell 6-inch kick-ass bondage fuck-me boots, you got to ask yourself, what are we pretending not to see?

Every now and then, the issue of dancing in the clubs appears on the forums and, lo and behold, a lot of people seem to know a lot about them. So, I want to talk about the stripping. I want to talk about the clubs. I want to talk about pole and sexuality and all the unspoken stuff about stripping and pole dance.

What I see too much of in the pole dance community is the sense that we have to clearly separate ourselves from strippers. We have to make it clear that we are DIFFERENT. We are ARTISTS.

I know we are all supposed to be good girls, and I know strippers are supposed to be bad girls. But I also think we all realize that strippers are good girls, too – that there are no bad girls. Just girls like me and like you and like all the pole dancers we know.

Stop crapping on the strippers

What I want is for us to be able to be proud of our art form without crapping – or feeling forced to crap – on the strippers. The strippers brought us this gift, often from some very difficult circumstances, and I think it’s spitting in their faces to constantly pretend we are different from them. Because that really means better than they are, which is mean and untrue and I don’t like it.

So, can we please start a dialogue here about what we really think and know about strippers and strip clubs, and what we really feel about that?

Let’s stop judging and start talking

No political correctness. No worries about being in the minority on this one. Whatever your views, I want to hear them. You’ve heard mine. I’m not going to judge you if you disagree with me, and I’m not going to let others get away with judging you, either. Just tell me why you feel the way you do. Honestly, I don’t want to create a big pole dancing schism; I just want to start the conversation, and I’m hoping my own point of view will broaden in the process, too.

Where do strippers and pole dancing intersect, and what are our feelings about that?

XOXO
Jennifer

 

*Since this is a new blog and we’re all still getting to know one another, I thought I’d just come right out and tell you: I swear. Sometimes, I swear a lot. Today is one of those days. You have been warned: I swear to punctuate my thoughts, I swear to liven up a sentence, and sometimes – like, say when I stub my toe on the base of my pole – I let loose with a string of filthy and descriptive expletives that would tarnish the ears of your average sailor. Just giving it to you straight; I’m a lovely girl, just happens I’m also a total potty-mouth. Consider it part of my charm. :)


**Yes, I know not only ladies pole dance, but I think we get sneered at for being like strippers in a way the male pole dancers don’t. Let me know if I’m wrong, fellas. I’m guessing you guys get sneered at plenty, too – just in other ways.

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18th May, 2009 - Posted by PoleSkivvies - 47 Comments
Filed under: Jennifer's Rants