Zombie Quick Fix
The epidemic
Far worse than sweaty hands, judgmental neighbors, or even the horrors of the Peek-a-Boo, zombie infection is rapidly becoming the number one threat to pole dancers around the world.
Diagnosed by its symptoms of lifeless pole dancing, expressionless moves, and its tendency to render the most dazzling inverts more boring than an evening at the in-laws, zombie infection has entered the pole dancer population and is wreaking untold havoc.
Are you at risk?
Examine your pole dancing carefully. Does this sound like you?
- Your smile looks frozen onto your face.
- Your videos all look like practice tapes – even when you’re doing a performance.
- You can do every advanced move in the world, but get lost when it comes to dancing them.
- You rarely make eye contact with the audience.
- You dance in front of your music, rather than with it.
If so, you may have a zombie infection.
Luckily, there is help available.
Zombie infections are, in fact, quite treatable. Anything you’ve heard to the contrary is just insurrectionist propaganda spread by rebel, pro-zombie factions.
With a simple understanding of the impact of zombification and how to counteract its nefarious influence, even a raging case of zombie-ism can be cured.
The Zombie Quick Fix Workbook
Get the tools you need to expunge this evil menace. The Zombie Quick Fix Workbook alerts you to the the four most common symptoms of zombie infection:
Lifeless Pole Dancing. Pole dancing lacking any zing or personality is the number one indicator of rampant zombification.
Nefarious Feats of Strength. A hallmark of zombie infection is over-emphasis of athletic moves, completely overpowering any sense of dance or expression.
Apathetic Audiences. Nothing says zombie like a bored audience. Whether totally zoned out or overly supportive, audience behavior is the litmus test of zombie infection.
Video Attack. A naturally flattening medium, zombie infections unleash their worst carnage on video performances.
The process of de-zombification
Knowing the signs of infection is not enough to render you safe. You also need solutions and step-by-step instructions to overcome your affliction. Fortuitously, the Zombie Quick Fix Workbook provides you with exactly that.
For each of the symptoms listed above, you will find two Quick Fixes to use as a remedy. Each comes with a De-Zombification Worksheet to take you step-by-step through the process of de-zombifying.
You’ll learn how to:
- Dance expressively to music.
- Bring life back into your movements.
- Incorporate different dance styles into your poling.
- Balance athleticism with subtler moves.
- Use your eyes to engage the audience.
- Take command of the stage with your walk.
- Liven up your facial expressions.
- Sparkle on video.
Choose basic or deluxe
The Zombie Quick Fix Workbook is a PDF that will arrive in your email, generally within 24 hours of placing your order. If your zombie infection warrants additional assistance, you are always welcome to email me with any questions, as much as you need to get your infection under control.
For a more in-depth cure, you have the option to get the Zombie Quick Fix Workbook, PLUS private session with me, by phone or Skype. The session is one hour long, and also includes de-zombification assistance via email.
(If you want your private session via Skype (recommended, but not required), you can find webcams here. It’s not an affiliate link; just thought it might be helpful.)
De-zombification guaranteed
Worried your case is intractable? That nothing can cure you? Set your mind at ease; whether you bought the workbook or the workbook plus private session, if it’s not helping, you get your money back. In full. Guaranteed.
Here’s where you click and start treating your zombie infection.
Zombie Quick Fix Workbook – $29 USD
Zombie Quick Fix Workbook PLUS Private Session – $75 USD
